


For Real

by KiKi_the_Creator



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26806159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiKi_the_Creator/pseuds/KiKi_the_Creator
Summary: Priya’s found a friend in Hazel, a friend that’s put herself on the line countless times for Priya. But when Hazel’s faced with a difficult decision and the possibility of losing her friend, she jumps at the chance to save her, diving head first into trouble. Finding herself in a strange new dynamic, Priya starts to see the Villa a little differently than before.
Relationships: Priya/Main Character (Love Island)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53





	1. Happy

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't already, check out [Zarxan's fic, ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zarxan)['Who would you save?'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25602298)  
> It's the same concept but a really amazing interpretation!

Priya’s sitting on the terrace with her head in her hands while Bobby runs circles along her back, “I’m sure it’ll turn out okay. Things change every second around here, they’ll forget soon.”

A sigh slips past her lips, “Yeah. I guess,” she responds in defeat, with anxiety, anger, and frustration storming inside of her chest.

“Here, I got you a drink,” Bobby delicately places a champagne flute in Priya’s barely open, ring-clad fingers.

She grasps it tight and sips gently, “I guess I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want anyone to hate me. I never want anyone to hate me, but they always do. And now I feel awful, but also like I deserve it, because it’s my own fault and I’m just -” she huffs, “I suck and in my worst nightmare.”

“I’m sure no one hates you,” Bobby attempts to reassure her.

She scoffs, “Yeah, they do,” she answers indignantly. “They really do, and I hate this feeling so much and never even wanted it to happen.”

Bobby nods along, “I’m similar. I think that’s why I joke around so much.”

Another heavy sigh escapes Priya, “I try that, but it falls flat.”

“Because of how you feel about yourself?” he inquires.

Priya nods helplessly, burying her head in her arms at the comment and dangling the flute from her fingers carelessly, trying to hide from the world and the truth behind Bobby’s words.

Priya’s always been insecure and unsure about herself, even when everyone around her was singing their support and encouragement like a hymn. But that doesn’t change the voice in the back of her head, telling her she’s not good enough, that what’s the harm in being the villain? Not like she was the hero, anyway.

The door clicks open, quiet footsteps following behind until there’s another body next to Priya. An arm drapes along her lower back, displacing Bobby’s hand and automatically offering comfort to the upset Priya.

“What’s up, Hazel?” Bobby asks softly, almost wary.

The woman in question forces her gaze away from Priya, “I was worried. I wanted to make sure she was okay,” she answers just as softly, ignorant to Bobby’s tone.

Bobby nods sagely, any trepidation from before now gone from his expression, “Good. Me too. I think she feels a lot of people are upset with her.” Priya tears her eyes away from the bubbles in her glass that have hypnotised her since Hazel stepped onto the terrace, shooting Bobby a grateful smile for his presence.

She drops her gaze back to her lap and the messy tissue in her hand, “Thanks for not telling Hope,” she addresses Hazel, “Turns out everyone knew what I was up to, though,” she laughs self-deprecatingly, Hazel stiffening next to her at the sound.

“I admit I spoke to the guys about it,” Bobby concedes.

Hazel’s eyes snap up, “Wait, _you_ ratted on her?” she accuses over Priya’s shoulder. Her arm around Priya tightens, pulling Priya into her side as Priya’s breath hitches at the unexpected force.

Bobby shifts awkwardly under her heavy gaze and the new space between him and Priya, “And Lottie told Hope she saw Priya take Noah for a chat in the lounge area,” he attempts to deflect from himself.

Priya sniffles quietly, pulling their attention back to her with ease, “In the end, it doesn’t matter what you all did or didn’t say.” She risks a wipe at her smudged eye makeup with a shaking hand. Hazel slips her free hand into Priya’s quivering one, squeezing gently. “Noah told her everything,” she manages.

Hazel silently fumes beside her, protectively holding a vulnerable Priya that’s curled in on her in the chill night, light hazel-green eyes glaring daggers at Bobby whenever he so much as breathes too loudly in Priya’s direction. Priya doesn’t notice, her eyes too watery and senses too overwhelmed to realise what’s happening between her two mates.

Although, she wouldn’t understand anyway. No one on the terrace that night understood why the 27-year-old’s gaze was murderous but her voice was gentle. Why her body was rigid and defensive but her hand in Priya’s soothing and light.

None of them understood. Yet, they all seemed to accept it without a second thought or ounce of hesitation.

Hazel thought she was being a good friend. That she’d have defended any of the girls like that, even if she never did.

Bobby thought Hazel had a right to be frustrated, that he deserved to be iced out so aggressively. Because, in all honesty, he did betray Priya, even if he didn’t mean to.

Priya simply thought that’s how Hazel was. Protective and caring of those around her, even if she witnessed Hazel walking away from a distressed Hope a few days later, the same girl Hazel had bonded so intensely with only a few weeks prior.

\---

‘Priya, today you and the girls are going on a mini-break. You must all get ready and meet at the entrance without waking the boys. #catsaway #micegonnaplay’ Her eyes scan the words a few times, the letters blurred in her early morning fog.

“Psst! Priya!” Hazel hisses across the aisle separating them, her caramel hair messily haloed around her head.

Priya turns, squinting in the low light of the bedroom at a wide-eyed Hazel, “What?”

She leans forward conspiratorially, Priya unconsciously mimicking the position, “Did you just get a text about a day trip?” she whispers.

“Yeah,” Priya confirms, still blinking away the remnants of sleep.

But she can just work out the way Hazel’s bottom lip slips between her teeth, “Amazing,” she whispers, her voice husky with sleep.

Hope stands up out of bed, brushing her pyjamas neurotically, “Girls. Dressing room, now,” she orders stiffly. Priya rolls her eyes in response as she slips out from the covers, huffing as she starts for the dressing room. 

Hazel’s the last to get up, and when she does, Priya starts giggling uncontrollably, to the point that Lottie’s dragging her out of the room to avoid waking the boys. But Priya still manages to catch sight of Hazel jumping up, dusting herself off, and hurriedly throwing the duvet back over a dozing Lucas.

Priya’s still bubbling with giggles when Hazel drops beside her in front of the mirrors in the dressing rooms, a slight blush colouring her cheeks. Priya nudges her with a grin, relishing the way the blush spreads as Hazel avoids her eye.

Any normal person would have dropped it at that point, but Priya’s not exactly normal. She pesters Hazel all morning, feigning tripping throughout the dressing room and pretending to catch Hazel whenever she walks past her. Hazel glares every time, but she never once moves out of Priya’s grasp until her arms drop by themselves, always a little hesitant to release Hazel for some unidentifiable reason.

\---

Casa Amor is proving to be an interesting experience. The boys are grafting - _hard_ \- and the girls are trying to enjoy it. Some are reveling in the attention, like Chelsea and Marisol. Some are making the best of it and enjoying their time, like Lottie and Priya. Some are caught up on what’s happening in the Villa, like Hope. And some are having a very odd time, like Hazel.

Priya can’t work out what’s going on in Hazel’s head as she observes her and Arjun chatting by the bean bags. Hazel’s nodding along as Arjun beams at her, clearly far more into his story than she is, but she lets him carry on anyway.

When it’s clear nothing is going to change between the pair, Priya turns back to the burning sun overhead, settling further into her sun lounger as Arjun’s voice fills the lawn. She adjusts her sunglasses as she stretches out with an exhale, the sunlight beating down on her exposed skin, her coverup forgotten alongside the lounger as she drifts in and out of consciousness.

A heavy weight settles along Priya’s legs, stirring her awake. Her sunglasses slide down her nose as she props herself up on her elbows, gazing down at Hazel and the grin sparkling in the sunlight on her face.

“Hi,” Hazel says, dropping her chin to Priya’s raised knee.

Priya’s lips slowly pull upwards, “Hi.”

Hazel’s beaming now, the corners of her eyes crinkling as her fingers idly circle the sides of Priya’s crossed legs. Hazel lets her head fall to the side, her breath tickling Priya’s skin as her arms encircle her legs. 

Priya wiggles her toes against Hazel with an amused smirk, the tilt in her lips only growing when Hazel falls to the side with a scowl, crossing her arms in annoyance.

A chuckle vibrates in Priya’s chest as she shifts to the edge of the lounger, leaving space for Hazel next to her. She takes the hint, rolling back to her stomach and shifting up to lay beside Priya. She lets an arm fall off the edge to rest on the ground, her other arm beneath her chin. Her gaze is behind the lounger, her eyes avoiding Priya, who’s curled on her side to watch the other woman.

“You okay, babes?” Priya questions.

Hazel lifts her shoulders and drops them, letting her lips purse and twist to the side. Priya nudges her gently and her head flops to the side with a sigh, her eyes finally finding Priya’s, “Things are just off, I guess.”

“What’s that mean?” Priya drops her voice low, brows furrowing in concern.

Hazel rubs at her eye, “I don’t know. It’s just odd.” She folds her arms around her head, squinting at Priya with one eye closed.

“Bad odd or good odd?” Priya gently prods, tracing her finger along Hazel’s shoulder, the pattern of straps providing a path to trail.

“Hard-to-tell odd.”

Priya chuckles in response, sinking further into the lounger with a contented smile. Hazel returns her grin, turning on her side to face Priya, propping her head up with a fist. 

They just watch each other for a moment, neither moving closer or farther, squeezed onto the sun lounger, even though there’s plenty of space to move apart. That is, until Arjun comes bounding over, calling for Hazel excitedly, who’s expression droops before she sits up, a fake smile plastered on her face at his arrival.

He drags her off the lounger, chattering away about something happening in the lounge. She lets him pull her along but Priya stays put, watching her go with a curious gaze.

Neither ever say anything about it, but Hazel was sad to go - glancing over her shoulder a few times and offering a small smile - and Priya was sad to see her go - huffing as she rolled back to face the sun once Hazel disappeared from her line of sight.

\---

Hazel has an obvious aversion to Felix, avoiding the blue-haired boy at any opportunity, which usually means exiting conversations with Priya far sooner than normal. Priya’s noticed too, and has begun to lay off on the flirting to keep her mate comfortable, or happy, or pleased, or whatever emotion Felix decidedly does not evoke.

The pair are sitting on bean bags next to each other, laughing along as Priya narrates what she assumes Elijah and Arjun are discussing. It’s entirely ridiculous, of course, but Hazel doesn’t seem to mind as she giggles and leans closer to Priya.

“Hey, hey, chicas!” Felix calls, dropping onto a bean bag on Priya’s opposite side with a smile. Hazel visibly bristles at his presence, shifting in her seat to fiddle with her water bottle and moving away from Priya.

Priya glances over at the intruder and smirks at the boy, “Hi, Felix,” she drawls, earning a smirk from the lad in return, but quickly becoming painfully aware of Hazel's absence.

Priya’s about to attempt some sort of peace offering or an excuse to get rid of Felix when Hazel jumps up, “Oh, I forgot I told Chels I’d make a smoothie with her,” she rushes out awkwardly before hurrying to the kitchen without even a second glance. 

Priya stares after her, brow furrowed and lips pursed as Felix attempts to flirt or strike up a conversation; she’s not paying him much attention. “Babe?” he eventually asks, waving his hand in her face to draw her back to reality.

She blinks a few times, eyes focusing back in on a puzzled Felix. “Yeah?”

He grins, “So, like I was saying…” he starts again. She tries her hardest to focus on his words, but her attention keeps slipping back to the kitchen, where the sounds of an abused blender and strangled screams from Chelsea emanate from.

\---

The girls step outside, exiting Casa Amor as they talk amongst themselves. A collective gasp ripples through the group as they catch sight of the boys, the group of lads donned in suggestive cuffs and collars.

Priya’s the first to laugh, nearly collapsing to the ground as she doubles over, her sides soon aching with the force of the fit. Marisol and Lottie soon join her, the former chuckling quietly as the latter cackles at the outfits, Kassam’s face turning crimson in response. Chelsea giggles a little, too, eyes on Elijah while she bounces on her toes. Hope and Hazel stare on in surprise, Hope unsure and Hazel horrified at the size of the costumes.

When Priya starts to catch her breath she leans on Hazel for support, the younger woman wrapping an arm around Priya’s waist without hesitation. Marisol glances at the line of women quickly before hurrying over to Graham, making some comment or other on the outfits being displayed.

Arjun waves over Hope, a surprise to everyone but him. Hazel grimaces a little, but doesn’t bother to protest, only responding to Priya’s proding on her wellbeing with a forced grin. Priya could spot that faux smile a kilometre away, the lack of crinkles in the corners of her eyes a dead giveaway, but she lets it slide, just this once.

Priya waits a moment more as the other girls offer up their boys, expecting Hazel to steal one. Instead, Hazel shakes her head and waits for everyone to join the boy of their choosing before making her over to Carl with a sheepish smile, offering a ‘best for last’ to cheer the lad up.

It works, of course, a smile splitting his lips as Hazel takes a seat. Priya can’t blame the bloke, Hazel choosing you in any circumstance is enough to kickstart the butterflies in your stomach. Though, Priya’s not quite aware that those butterflies aren’t as universal as she thinks they are. 

\---

Priya taps her knee anxiously as the others fly through their recoupling speeches, Marisol predictably switching to Graham, Chelsea picking golden boy Elijah, and Hope giving a sappy speech about Noah that no one asked for. 

Lottie stands next, surprising most of the group by sticking and leaving a frown on Kassam’s face. Priya follows her lead, though after the debacle from this morning, it’s not quite as surprising that she’s pied Felix a second time.

Hazel’s last to go, rocking on her heels as she faces the boys. Her hand is still locked in Priya’s, a gesture once meant to calm Priya's nerves when it was her turn to choose. Now Hazel’s the one in need of some reassurance, and Priya’s happy to give it to her, squeezing her hand tightly.

This jolts Hazel into action, her speech ending quickly as she declares that she’s sticking, a statement that leaves Arjun cringing. When Hazel settles back on the bench, she leans into Priya just a little bit more, relief overwhelming her and excitement bubbling inside Priya. Although she continues with her recent habit of mistaking it for secondhand happiness for Hazel.

\---

Priya’s now found herself on a daybed with Noah, nodding along to his stories from the few days they were apart. He’s been quiet and distant, however, but Priya couldn’t tell if something was wrong or if that’s just Noah being Noah.

Now Priya’s mind is elsewhere, thoughts of Hazel and the way her lips dipped into a frown as Lucas and Blake strutted towards the fire pit imprinted in her brain, burning harsher than a brand. Hazel leaned into Priya even more when they walked out, Priya’s thumb rubbing circles along the back of her hand as Hazel was quick to dismiss the lad and the new girl. 

Chelsea wasn’t as quick to catch on to Hazel’s disinterest, though, twisting the knife Lucas stabbed into her back without even realising it. Priya wanted to tell the girl to shut up, but she bit her tongue, wary of making the whole ordeal worse.

And now Hazel’s disappeared somewhere, probably to talk with Lucas and hopefully call him a snake. Priya directs her attention back to Noah, tuning in to hear him regale a heartstopping tale of Ibrahim burning breakfast, her upset sated at the possibility of Hazel telling Lucas off. 

She may get her answer to the hypothetical sooner than anticipated, her wandering gaze landing on Hazel as she makes her way over to the daybed. She flops down beside Priya, staring up blankly as Noah cuts off his _very_ intriguing story. “I’m gonna go,” he mumbles, jumping up and abandoning the women on the daybed.

Priya rolls her eyes at his retreating form, already over whatever attraction she once felt for him. Instead of groveling or chasing him down, she turns to Hazel, whose face is still blank with empty eyes. “You okay, babes?” Priya asks, settling closer beside Hazel with her legs folded before her.

Hazel nods once, eyes still unseeing. Priya frowns at the lack of an answer, reaching over to poke Hazel in the side. She finally stirs, flinching away from the jab with a scowl.

“Haze,” Priya urges, “What’s up?” she tries again.

The brunette avoids her eye, rolling over to her stomach and pressing her face into the daybed, “Nothing." There's no despair or joy in her tone, only slight annoyance at most.

“Hazel,” Priya says again, her own tone sharper as she jabs at Hazel’s other side. Hazel’s hand grabs Priya’s retreating one, holding it tight as she keeps quiet. “What’s wrong with you?” Priya prompts.

“Nothing!” Hazel shouts into the duvet, her voice pointed and irritated.

Priya sighs heavily, “Is this about Lucas?”

Hazel pauses, her grip on Priya’s hand falling away, “...No.”

Priya watches Hazel’s frozen form carefully before deciding to press the topic further. Instead of repeating herself again, she elects for a more direct approach, dropping onto Hazel and straddling her back. She pushes against Hazel’s shoulder, using her body weight to press Hazel into the duvet, “Tell me or I’m not moving,” she threatens with a small smirk.

“Priya!” Hazel whines, shifting beneath Priya’s body and trying to push herself up from underneath her.

Priya grabs her wrists, pinning her hands to her sides and letting her squirm under her, “Nope. Tell me or you’re spending the night out here with me.”

Hazel’s voice murmurs into the duvet, but it's not loud enough for Priya to catch her words, “What was that?” she questions, loosening her grasp on Hazel’s wrists.

A sigh shakes Hazel’s shoulders before her head turns, cheek pressed to the daybed, “I said ‘Better than spending it alone.’ I’m single, Pri. I’m single and have no prospects, which means I’m dumped at the next opportunity.”

Priya starts to chuckle, slowly falling off Hazel as laughs increasingly wrack through her body. She stares upwards, feeling Hazel’s gaze on her as she cackles into the cool night air.

Shifting in Priya’s peripherals, Hazel pushes herself up to a sitting position, her knees pushing into her chest and her arms wrapping around them, “Why are you laughing at me?” she whispers, her voice wavering.

Priya’s laughter stops immediately, her arms pushing her up to face Hazel properly, finding insecurity and anxiety in the eyes swimming in her namesake. Priya reaches for her hands, yanking back when Hazel cringes from her touch. “I didn’t mean it like that, hun. I just -” she lets another soft chuckle escape, “Haze, I am, too. Noah’s still under Hope’s thumb and I’m not even into him, anyway. Who else is there for me? Bobby?” she laughs again.

Hazel’s hand falls to Priya’s squeezing gently, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise,” she murmurs.

Priya smiles, shaking her head as she does, “I’m not fussed. Maybe things will change, maybe they won’t,” she shrugs. “I want to have fun and hang out with my mates,” she turns her head enough to wink at Hazel.

She receives a nod in response, a thoughtful expression gracing Hazel's features. “Yeah. Yeah,” she seems to come to a decision, but doesn’t elect to share it with Priya.

Instead, she looks to the Villa and the Islanders spread across it, idle conversations being shared with drinks helping the flow of words. A few have already started getting ready for bed, and a few are more than hesitant to step inside the Villa. Priya trails her hand up and down Hazel’s arm, carefully watching the light play off the green-adjacent eyes as they snake across the lawn.

The moment remains quiet between them, a still but welcome calm surrounding them in the dark. Priya’s nail ghosts across skin paler than her own, tracing fingers and knuckles and carefully painted light grey nails.

“Hey, are you ready to head in for bed?” Noah’s voice shatters the bubble around the pair, earning a slight glare from Priya.

She sighs softly, crashing her feet to the ground and popping up, “Yeah, I guess,” she answers half-heartedly.

Noah grimaces at her tone, but nods nevertheless. He starts walking to the Villa, not bothering to look back and catch the wave Priya offers to a frozen Hazel that’s still curled in on herself. She gives a small wave back, a soft quirk in the corners of her lips.

That smile stays with Priya as she follows Noah inside, as she removes her makeup and pulls on oversized pyjamas, as she slips in beside a boy that’s not hers and never will be - not that she wants him to be - and even as she watches Hazel carefully trod into the bedroom to kick Bobby out of his bed with Lottie from under heavy covers.

\---

Priya’s sitting at the kitchen counter with her arms dropped on the surface and an outstretched hand’s nails drumming on the countertop. Her head rests defeatedly atop her folded arm, wild, unbrushed hair cascading down her shoulders. Hazel’s sitting next to her, carefully running her hand up and down Priya’s spine, offering words of reassurance.

The Villa was shaken to its foundations not even ten minutes ago, the announcement of a dumping tonight leaving the Islanders shell-shocked. But that’s not all; two more texts followed it, with a good list and a bad list. The good list read ‘Gary, Bobby, Lottie, and Hazel’ and told them that they would each be saving one at-risk Islander. The bad one listed the eight Islanders facing the dumping.

And guess what? Priya was on the bad list. That’s right, Priya’s getting dumped by the end of the night and leaving the Villa and everyone in it behind to face the real world, a world that’s probably annihilated her online. Although Hazel’s very adamant that none of that is the case.

“You’ll be safe, I promise,” Hazel grins and pulls her hand from Priya’s back. She watches the way Priya tenses at the absence of contact and reaches back out, taking hold of Priya’s hand and squeezing tight, a glint in her eye that Priya can’t see, but the hand on her own reassures her all the same.

“Okay. So let’s say I’m saved. How?” Priya proposes as she moves her head to the side, meeting Hazel’s sparkling eyes with a quirk of an eyebrow.

Hazel’s face scrunches as she thinks, an image that makes Priya feel just a tad lighter, “Okay, I think Bobby will save you instead of Gary, for starters. You guys have been through a lot together, you know?” Priya nods along with her reasoning, although still hesitant to accept it. 

“Well then,” Priya decides to avoid an argument that she will surely lose, “Who else will be saved, know-it-all?”

Hazel grins at the teasing nickname, her brows quickly furrowing again as she considers the prompt, “Well, Bobby’s saving you which leaves Gary’s pick between Chelsea, Hope, and Blake…” she reasons, giving Priya a knowing look as she trails off.

Priya nods, “He’ll pick Chelsea.”

“Exactly,” Hazel beams. “And then there’s the boys: Jakub, Elijah, Lucas, and Noah. I don’t think Lottie’s into Jakub. Like, at all,” she laughs, Priya chuckling with her at the thought of those two coupled up and the disaster that would ensue. “And I doubt she’ll want to get involved with the Lucas stuff, she’s been good about drama,” she pauses to sip from the cup of tea she was beginning to prepare when the text arrived. “And she doesn’t really know Elijah, but the boys all like Noah, so that’s going to be her pick, right? Which means I’ll save Elijah for Chelsea, since she’s so smitten,” she grins.

Priya smiles back, “I think you might be onto something,” she chuckles, letting her eyes fall from Hazel’s as she considers the possibility that maybe Hazel’s right. But a sick feeling still swirls in her gut, and a thousand realities in which everything goes wrong or someone makes an alliance or some other ridiculous possibility stirs in her mind.

Hazel smiles even wider, dropping her mug to the counter and finally pulling her hand from Priya's, their fingers separating as she reaches for a banana in the fruit bowl. Priya hadn’t even realised that their fingers had locked together, or that her hand had turned over to allow it. She doesn’t seem to notice a lot of things when it comes to Hazel, does she?

\---

Turns out the recoupling’s gone much the same as Hazel’s prediction, with Gary picking Chelsea and Lottie saving Noah. Except for one aspect: Bobby’s selection is one that Hazel adamantly disagrees with - judging by the daggers in Bobby’s head from her gaze; he saved Hope.

He saved Hope, claiming something about a matching set. He saved Hope, and Lottie hadn’t even gone yet. He saved Hope and left Priya to her doom, a dumping she wasn’t prepared for but can’t help but accept all the same.

Now Hazel’s stood up stiffly, her body tense with anger. Not that Priya sees the frustration overflowing from Hazel; her eyes are glued to the ground, hands sliding up and down her arms in an attempt to comfort herself. It’s not working.

Hazel takes a deep breath, letting her eyes scan along all the Islanders, safe and at-risk - minus Bobby. She’s trying to calm down at the moment, not choke the lad until his body goes limp and his eyes start to loll in their sockets. If only she could, though, if only she could.

She releases the air from her lungs in a determined huff. “Okay, so,” she finally begins. “I want to couple up with this person because I can’t imagine being here without them. They’re brilliant and amazing and I know they’ll come back swinging,” she grins at no one in particular, her previous irritation seemingly forgotten. 

“So… the person I want to couple up with is…” she stops, her hands clasping in front of her. There’s an anxious pause as she stands with a smile, letting the anticipation brew instead of jumping the gun, her usual preference.

Priya forces her gaze up at the lull in monologuing, finding Hazel’s eyes have fallen on her, Hazel’s smile relaxing at the eye contact and Priya’s chest aching at the thought of no longer being able to see that smile. It’s not even about the Villa or the boys anymore.

Just Hazel. Just her friend.

“Priya.”

Priya tries to smile, to glance down at the line of at-risk Islanders to find Elijah or whatever boy Hazel’s saved, the boy that will receive the full force of her smile now.

When Priya doesn’t find Elijah or any of the boys stepping forward, all of them looking back at her, her eyes flick back to Hazel, the Islanders on the bench all staring at Priya with wide eyes as Hazel just beams at her.

Huh?

Priya retraces the past few minutes, trying to think back to every second since Hazel stood up and began to unconsciously sway on her feet, as she always does.

Wait, did she say Priya’s name?

Priya’s eyes fly around the Islanders, finding expectant and shocked expressions painted across their features. Her gaze settles back on Hazel, finding a strained smile and terrified eyes staring back at her as Hazel tries to keep her confidence from shattering.

“Me?” Priya questions in a small voice, risking total embarrassment to prevent the smile on Hazel’s lips collapsing in the way she knows it’s about to.

Her grin fortifies for a moment, “Yeah? Is that… okay?” her lips fall into an awkward half-smile, nerves clearly getting the best of her. Priya smiles at the sight of the contorted features staring back at her.

“Hell yeah,” she answers, strutting over to wrap Hazel in a hug, her arms thrown around the shorter woman’s shoulders.

Hazel laughs in her ear, "I told you you'd be safe," she whispers, her breath tickling Priya’s skin as she squeezes her back, a sensation Priya wants to experience a million times more. They’re both reluctant to let go, but Priya forces herself back, gently tugging at Hazel’s arm to sit down when they’ve split apart.

No one’s quite sure what to make of this recoupling and the dumping tied to it, including Priya and Hazel themselves. They’re both expecting a text or producer to tell them off. They’re not the only ones on edge, a few Islanders carefully watch Priya and Hazel, glances being shared as the two sit next to each other, a bit awkwardly as they wait for the next inevitable text - hopefully one that doesn’t reverse Hazel’s speech. 

It comes an instant later, announcing the at-risk Islanders are now dumped from the Villa and including no mention of Priya or Hazel. The dumped Islanders have been instructed to gather their things and make their way to the front of the house for final goodbyes. 

The strange fog that settled over the Islanders at Hazel’s speech seems to lift a bit, the surviving couples jumping up to say goodbye and share brief hugs. Hazel makes her way over to Elijah and Chelsea, speaking quietly before sharing some sort of conversation with Lucas and Blake as Priya holds back, not sure what to make of the outcome of the night.

At some point Chelsea’s breaking through Priya’s daze and wrapping an arm around her, pulling her into a tight hug, “I’m so happy you're staying, babes. Hazel’s a genius,” she giggles into Priya’s shoulder.

“Me too,” Priya answers into her hair. She doesn’t mention just exactly _how_ happy she is that Hazel said her name. That her summer’s not over quite yet, and that she gets to spend it with Hazel of all people. 

Hazel, who’s not wavered once in her support of Priya. Hazel, who’s fun and energetic and would spend hours working on a random suggestion, be it dancing or cooking or reorganizing the Villa’s furniture, because she’s just that passionate about everything she does. Hazel, who’s smarter than anyone would give her credit for and funnier and sweeter than anyone but Priya knows. Hazel, who keeps glancing at Priya, even as her attention’s meant to be directed at the dumped Islanders across from her.

So yeah. Priya’s pretty happy tonight.


	2. Drowning

“Good morning!” breaks the silence of the still bedroom as Bobby jumps up across the room. Some more ‘good mornings’ and a lot of groans spill out from the beds.

Priya sits up with a yawn, finding the bedroom already erupted into chaos. She leans back against the headboard, curling her legs beneath her as she takes in the sights and sounds of the bedroom. Hope and Noah are already making heart eyes at one another, Bobby and Gary already chatting with Lottie and Chelsea while Graham and Ibrahim reluctantly pull their duvets back, Shannon and Marisol irritated with the morning already.

Hazel’s curled up on the other side of her bed with her back to Priya, the duvet pulled over her head tight, trying to block out the world around her. Priya risks a teasing poke to her back, remembering the vice grip Hazel had on her hand after the last time. 

Though, Hazel’s in no condition to fight back in the morning. She groans, burying her head under a pillow. Priya chuckles quietly, carefully watching Hazel’s still form as the other Islanders move about around them, starting the day with smiles and laughter, a stark contrast to Hazel’s typical prickly demeanor.

Her harsh attitude has been glimpsed by the rest of the Villa in the past, but Priya’s yet to be on the receiving end of full-force, morning-hating, grumpy Hazel. She’s not sure what to make of the ‘fuck off,’ that’s muffled in the duvet.

She attempts to laugh it off, until there’s a sharp poke in her thigh, “Ow! Haze!” she chastises, slapping the woman in question’s shoulder that is obscured by the covers.

“Go away.” It’s muffled again, barely comprehensible. 

Priya glances around the room, finding the last remnants of the Islanders as they start their day. She slips back beneath the covers, facing the lump of Hazel. She gently prods the lump, no sharp pokes this time, “Hey.”

A groan sounds in response, the lump unmoving. Priya slides closer - just a little, “Everyone else is up, Haze.” Another groan. “Are you just never getting up?”

“Yes.”

A chuckle escapes Priya, and she receives another poke. This time she was ready, though. She takes hold of the offending hand, holding almost as tight as Hazel had, “Are you sure I can’t convince you?” she jokingly flirts.

“Depends,” Hazel finally peeks her head out, her eyes puffy from sleep and the little amount of hair Priya can see from the covers is messy. “How are you going to?”

Priya smirks, adding a wink for good measure, “Whatever you want, babe.” Something in Priya’s stomach stirs at the unabashed flirting, even if it’s entirely a joke, at least as far as she’s concerned.

“Good,” Hazel mumbles, pulling the duvet back over herself. “‘Cause I want you to go away.”

“Hazel!” Priya chides again, even if it’s soon followed by laughter. “I can’t ditch you already. I’d be a terrible partner if I did.”

“But you said you’d do whatever,” Hazel whines.

“I meant, like, I’d make you tea,” Priya answers, exasperated but not really. Even morning-Hazel’s not enough to piss her off, a skill reserved for morning-Hazel and morning-Hazel alone.

“Yes. Please. Go and make tea,” Hazel says quickly.

Priya shakes her head, holding in more laughter as it threatens to burst from her chest, “Well now I’m not leaving, since you so desperately want me to.”

“Priya,” Hazel whines again.

Priya just grins at the lump, settling back down in the bed and getting comfortable with a sigh. She turns to the ceiling, watching the early morning light play across it as the near constant murmurs of the Villa pick up again, right where they dropped off last night.

Priya’s almost begun to drift off when Hazel presses against her, nudging her head along Priya’s shoulder with an exhale. “Morning,” Priya smirks.

Hazel buries her face in messy red hair, “I hate mornings.”

Priya’s smiling wide now, “I think I got that,” she teases. “How come?”

“Everyone’s so loud and I’m so comfy and I always have such good dreams and it’s always so much and so cold,” Hazel huffs, facing red locks.

“Here then,” Priya murmurs, turning to slip her arms around Hazel, “Not so cold?” Hazel nods delicately, squirming further into Priya’s grasp in search of her body heat. “We do need to get up at some point, though.”

Hazel lets out another groan into Priya’s shoulder, “Can’t we just say we’re in the honeymoon phase? Then they’ll leave us alone, right?”

Priya laughs into the ear close to her mouth, ignorant to the acceleration of Hazel’s heartbeat at the sound, “I don’t think that’ll work.”

Hazel whines again, “Why not?” 

“That’ll just bring more questions, babes, if we spent all day doing bits after coupling up as friends.”

Hazel whines once again, reminiscent of a petulant child, but Priya is nothing but amused, “I hate that you’re smart in the mornings.”

Priya’s neck heats at the compliment, as small as it was, and the intimacy attached to it. She attempts a bemused chuckle to shift the mood from the change only she’s perceived, “So you’ll get up, then?”

“Only if you make me tea.”

“Deal.”

Priya leaves after a few more minutes, her body feeling cold in the absence of Hazel’s bare skin on hers, but she manages to convince herself it’s simply a chilly morning and the bed was warm. Not Hazel.

Hazel definitely wasn’t warm and comfortable and adorable and made Priya laugh even as she ranted on everything wrong with mornings. Of course not. That’d just be ridiculous now, wouldn’t it?

It certainly is to Priya, at the very least.

\---

The Islanders are spread across the lawn, lounging in bean bags, playing in the pool, and chatting on the daybeds. Priya’s at the latter, Hazel to her right, Chelsea, Lottie, and Gary across from them. Bobby had attempted to join, but Hazel’s glare seemed to scare him off.

She hasn’t exactly forgiven him for saving Hope, and Priya’s oddly grateful. He’d approached her to apologise that night, remorse in his gaze but conviction in his words as he stood by his decision, his reasoning lost on Priya.

They had nearly ruined her relationship because neither of them believed it, so why was Bobby suddenly a worshipper of _Nope?!_ Why did he feel the need to make up for the whole ordeal from weeks ago? Especially when it meant saying goodbye to Priya, who had supported him, been his friend, even went as far as to encourage his relationship with Hazel from the beginning.

Maybe it’s because she stopped encouraging it at some point, the thought of Bobby slowly winning over Hazel sending a swirl of nausea through her in the past week or so. It was a mystery for a while, but Priya eventually concluded that it was just because Hazel wasn’t interested, even if she was happily coupled up with him for weeks.

Priya pauses, her head tilting and eyes unfocusing as the conversation carries on around her. Why wasn’t Hazel interested anymore? The question never once crossed Priya’s mind, it was simply an obvious truth, but really, it made no sense.

Nothing happened between them, or Priya would know; Hazel tells her everything. No one caught either of their attention, as far as Priya was aware. Henrik was gone and Bobby was… loyal? Uninterested? Something. The only conflict Priya could recall between them was… 

Operation Nope. Hazel barely spoke to Bobby for a few days after, she was glued to Priya’s side the entire time and shooed Bobby off whenever he attempted to talk with either of them. Was that what caused a rift between them? Priya’s brow furrows. 

Well now she feels even worse about that awful plan if she wrecked their relationship; they didn’t deserve that. Rather, Hazel didn’t deserve that. Hazel deserved the boy of her dreams, and what if that was Bobby? Now they’d never get the chance to find out.

Hazel’s head drops into Priya’s lap as the group before them continues on, her hand sliding up to gently grasp Priya’s knee, nails gently brushing soft skin. Priya’s mind was suddenly back in the present, all of her attention on the woman in her lap. A hand tentatively raises, fingers hesitantly begin to comb through Hazel’s light locks as Priya stares down at her, watching the way her eyelashes flutter as her hand slides beneath her head in search of further comfort. 

Priya forces her gaze up, feeling odd for watching, and back to the conversation in front of her. But she lets her nails continue to move through Hazel’s hair, relishing the contented hum that vibrates from Hazel’s throat, and slips back into her reverie of what could have been.

Would Bobby and Hazel still be together if Priya had never suggested Operation Nope? Probably, she decides, there’s no reason for them to break up outside of it. Bobby’s sweet like his baked goods, and Hazel has the biggest sweet tooth Priya’s ever seen, eclipsing even Lottie’s with ease.

So it’s settled, in Priya’s mind, at least. Hazel and Bobby splitting up is her fault, which means it’s her responsibility to get them back together. Her jaw clenches as she comes to this conclusion, entirely oblivious to why she doesn’t want to go through that effort.

She glances back down at the head in her lap, finding Hazel’s breathing slowed and eyes shut. Priya’s jaw unclenches at the sight, her entire body relaxing from the tensed state it had been in since Hazel fell against her. Her fingers are still in Hazel’s hair as she watches the way Hazel’s chest rises and falls in a delicate rhythm.

“What do you think, Priya?” Chelsea asks eagerly, turning on the maroon-haired woman with a wide smile.

Priya glances up, feeling as if she’s been caught red-handed, regardless of her innocence. “Hmm?” she hums in question, pulling her hand from Hazel’s hair as her heartbeat quickens to a pace that cannot be healthy. Her hands drop behind her, holding her up.

Chelsea’s smile never falters, though Lottie looks annoyed with Priya, and it’s definitely not because she wasn’t paying attention, regardless of what Priya believes, “We were talking about Shannon!” she announces. “Lottie’s still annoyed with her, but she’s really sweet, right?” Chelsea chirps.

“Oh, uh, yeah, I like her,” Priya nods, meeting Lottie’s scrutinising gaze warily. Those green eyes are almost as haunting as the possibilities behind them, the mass of disappointment, expectation, and frustration leaving Priya confused.

“Right?!” Chelsea beams, falling into a ramble on what Shannon made for breakfast and how she helped Chelsea with eggs. Gary listens intently, smiling at the bubbly blonde, but Lottie’s eyes remain trained on Priya.

 _What?_ Priya mouths, frowning at the slight quirk of a smirk in Lottie’s lips.

Lottie shakes her head nearly imperceptively, _Figure it out,_ she mouths back, and, at any other time, Priya would have thrown a fit over Lottie’s regression in her relationship with drama, over her knowing smirk that Priya doesn’t think really knows anything, over the way Lottie’s gaze flicks to Hazel, softly asleep in Priya’s lap.

It’s invasive to Priya, for Lottie to be judging her or mocking her or whatever it is she’s doing. And she doesn’t like the way it’s involving Hazel, whatever _it_ even is.

And, most importantly, she doesn’t like that Lottie knows. Priya barely knows, and yet Lottie is smug and confident, positive that there’s something more between her and Hazel. Of course, there isn’t yet, not really. Not until Priya can _figure it out._

\---

They’re still seated on the daybeds, long past Priya’s previous frustration, with Lottie and Chelsea. Gary abandoned them to work out with the other lads, hopping up at the sound of Ibrahim’s shout.

Lottie and Chelsea are chatting softly, their voices not quite reaching Priya, who’s laying on her back, staring up and fighting the urge to fall asleep or run away; she can’t tell which is more prevalent with Hazel in her lap.

Well, kind of in her lap. When Priya fell back to the duvet, Hazel shifted, her head rising to Priya’s hip and a hand draping across her thighs, with Hazel’s other hand slipping around to Priya’s lower back at some point.

“Text!” rings across the lawn, Priya instinctively shooting upwards at the sound. But Hazel barely stirs, rolling with the motion and her head falling back into Priya’s lap. 

“Hey,” Priya whispers to the dozing form, “Hey, there’s a text, hun,” she brushes a lock of hair out of Hazel’s face. 

The younger woman mumbles before pressing her face into her arm on Priya’s thigh, sprawled across the other woman’s lap. Priya laughs as she groans, “Come on, I want to see what the text’s about,” a fully awake Priya urges. A sleepy Hazel just groans again, her arm curling to protect her face from the light of the waking world.

Priya pulls her hand to Hazel’s head and scratches her scalp gently, “Hazel. Don’t you want to see what’s going on?” she hums to her, thinking back to how grumpy Hazel is when woken up, and how much better being gentle seems to work. 

Hazel’s hands slide along Priya’s legs before pushing herself upwards, her face turning and stopping before Priya’s as a hand unintentionally cups the back of Hazel’s head, fingers accidentally woven in tawny hair. Priya swallows, as difficult as the basic task now is, the close proximity of Hazel’s face oddly unsettling. 

“Fine,” Hazel mutters, irritated. 

She slides off the daybed and turns back to Priya, offering a hand. Priya takes hold of the outstretched palm, pulling herself up quickly and stopping close to Hazel’s face once again.

Their eyes meet one another before Hazel turns, pulling Priya along behind her as she strides across the lawn to catch up with Lottie and Chelsea, who had no qualms in ditching the pair.

\---

The Islanders are spread around the fire pit, couples across from one another with whiteboards in everyone’s lap. They’re playing Mr. & Mrs./Mrs. & Mrs. and a few Islanders might be a little too involved.

“Hah! Suck it, Gary!” Hazel yells across the fire pit to him, Priya laughing at her excitement as Marisol tallies another point under ‘Priya and Hazel,’ chuckling quietly to herself.

‘Priya and Hazel’ has the most tallies, the pair dominating the game with ease, both to the amusement of Priya and the delight of Hazel’s competitiveness. Hazel has not once held back during challenges, shouting at and antagonising her competitors, working for victory far more than anyone else.

Today is no different, Hazel’s shouts echoing around the fire pit and the grumblings of the other Islanders filling the gaps between each outburst as she takes more time to answer than anyone else. 

“Hurry up!” Hope groans, rolling her eyes as Hazel stares at Priya, attempting to work out where she had her first kiss.

Priya meets her gaze with a smirk, a wordless challenge. Hazel squints, staring a second longer before leaning back. “After a study date,” she answers confidently, ignoring Hope.

A grin breaks Priya’s lips as she flips her board, ‘study date’ scrawled on it in loopy writing. Hazel jumps to her feet, “Yes!” She does a victory dance, earning some laughs and more than a few eye rolls.

“How?!” Gary calls, leaning forward with his mouth open. He’s been the most vocal in challenging Hazel today, often criticising how well Hazel and Priya are doing compared to his own couple. 

Hazel drops back in her seat again, beaming at the lad, “Hey, don’t hate just ‘cause Priya and me are soulmates,” she jokes.

Gary glares at her but doesn’t comment any further. Priya shakes her head at the antics, chuckling fondly as Marisol and Graham attempt to wrangle the Islanders and continue the game.

\---

The Islanders enjoy some ice lollies as they lounge on the lawn and in the kitchen, Priya and Hazel sitting on stools at the counter. Hazel’s pleased with her victory, reveling in her reward and reminding everyone that she and Priya are, in fact, soulmates. Whatever that means.

“How’s your lolly?” Priya asks, licking her own.

Hazel wiggles excitedly in her seat, “Tastes like winning,” she beams.

Priya laughs, “I can’t believe _you're_ my soulmate. I always thought I’d get someone more normal.”

Hazel swats her arm with a frown, “You’re lucky to be my fake soulmate, you know. _I_ won us ice lollies!”

“We both won! Team effort!” Priya chimes indignantly.

“Nope,” Hazel shakes her head, “I got more right than you. Which means your ice lolly is mine!” she declares, leaning forward and taking a bite out of Priya’s lolly.

“You twat!” Priya turns in her seat, guarding her lolly as she licks it, not caring that Hazel’s tainted it. Also not caring that she really doesn’t mind sharing with Hazel.

\---

The kitchen’s bustling this morning, eggs sizzling in pans as Priya and Hazel watch on. Well, Priya watches on. Hazel’s barely conscious as she leans against both Priya’s shoulder and the counter, occasionally sipping her morning tea from Priya.

Ibrahim drops two plates of scrambled eggs in front of the two, earning a wide smile and a wink from Priya and a ‘oh my God, I love you’ from a sleepy Hazel. He chuckles, turning back to the stovetop.

“I’m leaving you for Rahim,” Hazel mumbles through a mouthful of eggs.

“Same,” Priya says through her own mouthful. “You better get grafting. I think I’ve got a head start.”

Hazel nods, swallowing thickly and downing some tea. She clears her throat, “Hey, Rahim?” she calls.

He turns, eyebrows raised expectantly with a spatula in hand. He drops his forearms to the countertop, shoulders slumping with them, “Yeah?”

Hazel twists a free lock of hair around her finger, batting her eyelashes in an attempt at seduction, “You know, that shirt does great things for your... muscles,” she fumbles, barely keeping her ditzy smile in place.

Priya nearly chokes on eggs beside her, coughing a bit as Hazel glares. Ibrahim stares on in a mix of confusion and horror, “How did you end up with Priya with flirting like that?”

Priya’s stopped choking by now, Hazel hitting her on the back doing an unknown amount of good, “Hey, she's doing her best!” she chastises.

Ibrahim shakes his head, pushing off the counter and tsking as he turns away. Hazel grins at Priya, “Aw, how sweet,” she coos, shoveling another forkful of eggs into her mouth. 

\---

Priya drags a very grumpy Hazel into the dressing room behind the other girls, the room already exploding as everyone gets ready for their day away from the boys. Priya leads her to the mirror, pushing on her shoulders to sit her down. She obliges and Priya turns away, pulling out a bikini and coverup.

She steps into the bathroom to change, returning to find somehow even more chaos as the girls change and do their hair. She stops by Hazel, who braids her hair lazily as Priya takes up residence behind her to do her makeup. She applies it over Hazel's shoulder, the two sharing a mirror now that Elisa’s stolen Hazel’s. 

Jo stumbles in after a few minutes, eyes wide and panicked as she takes in the disarray before her. Priya glances over long enough to hear her explanation, but soon turns back to her work.

Hazel does less makeup than usual and slips on a one-piece suit, finishing before the other girls and slumping next to Priya as she brushes her maroon locks. “Should I straighten my hair today?” she asks Hazel.

Green-hazel eyes inspect Priya before light brown hair shakes with her head, “I like your natural hair.”

Priya nods, pushing the straightener she grabbed a few minutes ago aside and dropping her brush to the counter. She stands and fusses over her outfit in the mirror for a few seconds until she’s pleased with her swimsuit and pulls on heels. She drops next to Hazel again and they watch the others mess with makeup and outfits.

Priya’s not sure when Hazel’s hand slipped into her own, but she’s not exactly mad about it as they walk to the front of the Villa and hop in a Jeep, hand in hand the whole time.

\---

Waves of sea water softly lap at Priya’s feet, the beach and ocean around her are quiet, raised voices in the distance. The girls have been at war all day, Shannon versus Jo is the main event, with Elisa versus Chelsea on the undercard. Hope has been trying to sedate the girls, but failing miserably.

The remaining four women - Lottie, Marisol, Hazel, and Priya - have been minding their own business, butting in when necessary. Priya has decided that it’s not at all necessary, and abandoned the violence, meandering along the beach near the bar before dropping to the sand.

She didn’t invite Hazel along for once, a decision she’s slowly losing her confidence in as she sits alone beside silent waves. She digs her toes in the wet sand, wiggling them as another wave submerges her feet.

“Want some company?” Hazel calls as she crosses towards Priya, two sangrias in hand.

Priya turns, smiling softly at the warm grin on Hazel’s features, “Sure.”

Hazel’s eyes crinkle as her smile grows, dropping down beside Priya and offering a glass. They each take a sip, turning back to the waves in unison. Another wave rolls across Priya’s buried toes and Hazel’s outstretched legs.

“How come you came out here?” Hazel asks after a moment.

Priya’s shoulders rise and drop with a sigh, “Just needed a break. All the drama’s a lot. I don’t know why I was ever actually involved with all of that.”

Hazel nods along, thoughtful for a long second, “Sometimes we do dumb things when we’re scared. Love Island’s a terrifying place.” She downs half her drink with a gulp.

The edge of another wave tickles their skin. Priya turns to Hazel with a raised eyebrow, “Since when are you so wise and mature?”

Hazel’s lips twist and her brow furrows as she scowls at Priya, “For your information, I’ve always been wise and mature. Who’s the one that figured out how to calm down Lottie?” she asks with the raise of her brows. She smirks, “And who’s the one that saved your arse?”

Priya chuckles, “Alright, alright, you win. You’re wise and mature, and I’m lucky to have you,” she smiles softly at Hazel.

The younger woman turns back to the ocean, her features tight. Priya’s jaw clenches at the sudden change in tone. She’s debating whether or not to push Hazel right now when she speaks, “I didn’t say the last part.”

Priya does a double take, blinking in surprise at the unexpected comment, “Oh. Well, it’s true. I’m lucky you’re my friend. All our mates are.” Hazel nods, still watching the waves carefully. Then a lightbulb goes off in Priya’s head, an opportunity discovered, “And Bobby is, too.”

Hazel turns, a puzzled expression contorting her face, “Okay…” she meets Priya’s gaze cautiously. 

Priya squirms in her spot, both from the heavy eyes on her and the words on the tip of her tongue. She forces them out, “What happened to you guys?” her voice is quiet, wary.

“Me and Bobby?” Hazel asks, almost disbelieving. Priya nods to confirm, Hazel taking a deep breath in response, “Just fizzled, I guess? I don’t know.”

“You can say it’s my fault. I know it is,” Priya murmurs, facing the lapping waves and taking a gulp of her sangria.

“Hey,” Hazel’s voice is firm as she reaches out, squeezing Priya’s shoulder as she wordlessly requests her attention. Priya doesn’t give it, however, opting to bury her toes deeper in damp sand. 

“Hey,” Hazel repeats, this time reaching out to cup Priya’s jaw, forcing her to meet green-brown eyes. “It just fizzled, okay? Not your fault, I swear. Don’t even know how it would be,” she releases Priya’s jaw, the older woman almost missing the grip she had.

Priya’s shoulders rise with a heavy breath, “Operation Nope messed things up between you guys and it shouldn’t have. You stopped talking after it happened and the whole thing’s my fault.”

Hazel groans, a sound that momentarily baffles Priya, before she gets her explanation. “Okay, fine. Things got weird because of Operation Nope. But you had nothing to do with it. He came up with it with you and then stabbed you in the back! So yeah, I was pissed at him over that, but you didn’t do anything.”

A sigh escapes Priya, “Haze, I had _everything_ to do with it. But you guys were really good together, and I’m sorry for messing that up, but I think you should try to get back together, he didn't mean anything from it and you shouldn't be mad for me, okay?” Priya rambles, hurriedly spitting out her words and trying to fight the way her stomach churns with them.

Green-brown eyes are wide as they stare at Priya, Hazel’s jaw hanging open. She blinks a few times before her senses seem to return, her mouth clamping shut and lips splitting into a smirk, “Priya, you can just tell me if you don’t like being coupled up. I’ll get over it... eventually.”

Now Priya’s shocked, her own lips parting in surprise and dark eyes widening. Hazel’s smirk never wavers, even as Priya’s gaze flicks from it to her eyes a dozen times, the gears in her head audibly turning. 

She falls forward with laughter, nearly spilling what remains of her drink as her body shakes with the force. Hazel joins her, chuckling softly. “Hell no! You’re stuck with me for as long as I can keep you,” Priya manages through her laughter.

“Well, good, 'cause I don’t plan on leaving,” Hazel beams, Priya’s own smile glinting in the sunlight as her heartbeat quickens in her ribcage, her matchmaking plan abandoned in an instant if she can hear those words again.

\---

“Text!” Priya calls to the Villa, scanning the message briefly. She’s stood in the kitchen, filling her water bottle under the tap as Islanders rush over, slowing down when they get close and excitedly chattering, a few impatiently shouting to read the text.

Priya grabs the lid of her bottle and twists it on, reaching for her phone as the bottle hits the countertop. She opens it, finding a new text ready to be read.

Before she can, however, arms are wrapping around her waist and a chin is landing on her shoulder, breath lightly tickling her neck. She turns to find Hazel gazing expectantly at the phone’s screen, her face relaxed as her hands brush along Priya’s body.

Priya blinks in surprise a few times, frozen and confused with a million thoughts suddenly in her head. She shakes her head to clear it of the blabbering after a moment and turns to the text, reading out the statement that declares Hazel and her as tonight’s chefs.

“Brilliant,” Hazel breathes in her ear, setting her entire body on fire and halting her breath in her throat.

\---

Hazel stirs a pot of pasta intensely, her focus set on the boiling water as Priya watches from across the kitchen, forearms on the countertop. Chopped vegetables sit on a cutting board before her, but her attention hasn’t been on the knife beside the greens for a while.

Hazel’s humming as she moves around the kitchen, adding to the pot and checking the dish. She turns to Priya, stopping in her tracks and quirking an eyebrow out of curiosity, “What?” she asks.

Priya just smiles, “Nothing,” and grabs the cutting board, walking over to the stovetop. She carefully slides the chopped veggies into the pot, smiling softly as Hazel crosses her arms in irritation in Priya’s peripherals.

The dishes in the sink have piled up, enough to grab Priya’s attention, or at least enough to pretend they have. She starts to work through them, Hazel staying by her side with a pout. Priya chuckles, bumping her hip into Hazel’s, “You gonna check the pasta?”

Hazel pouts a moment more, Priya carefully avoiding her eye for a reason she can’t yet identify, something about the way Hazel’s eyes are still shining with affection irks Priya. Hazel sighs, turning to the pot and stirring. 

\---

They carry on the banter the rest of the evening, Priya teasing Hazel without ever uttering a word and Hazel growing frustrated with every glance. Priya knows she doesn’t mean it, though, that it’s as much of a bit as the quirk in Priya’s eyebrow.

The light mood only falls away during dinner, Priya falling back in her seat with a frown and crossed arms. Hazel’s chatting with Bobby and Gary, the lads retelling tales of pirate adventures from their day alone. She’s smiling and laughing along to Bobby’s jokes, the bloke beaming at every chuckle.

And Priya really doesn’t like it. She really doesn’t like the glimmer of pride in his eyes, or the way Hazel’s barely looked at her since he started talking. She really doesn’t like the way Gary exits the conversation, she really doesn’t like the way their voices lower, and she really doesn’t like what might come next.

She’s positive that she’s worried about being single, not that she’s worried Hazel won’t be stuck with her anymore. Not that she’s worried Hazel didn’t mean everything at the beach. Not that she’s worried Hazel has no qualms about abandoning her.

Those definitely aren’t the reasons she’s glaring at Bobby without an ounce of subtlety.

\---

Hazel’s face is peaceful, moonlight-covered hazelnut hair draped across her pillow and the duvet falling across her almost bare shoulder, a lone tank-top strap obscuring it.

Priya turns away from her, yanking the duvet over herself as she does. She stares angrily into the dark, her mind swimming as she drowns in her own thoughts, Hazel’s face the only thing staying above the waves. Waves of dumpings and recouplings, history and possibilities, Bobby and his stupid jokes.

The sheets rustle behind Priya, a body slipping closer and pressing to her back as a slender arm wraps around her waist. “Um - uh - Haze? What - What are you…?” 

The body behind her mumbles into Priya as her face pushes into the back of her neck, “You stole all the covers.” 

“Uh - s-sorry. I can move?” Priya feels her skin flushing at the sudden contact.

“I’m comfy here, Pri,” her lips brush Priya’s skin, igniting a fire along it and inside Priya’s chest.

“Yeah. Okay. Alright,” Priya carefully relaxes into her, earning a sleepy murmur in return as Hazel shifts to allow her.

Priya’s sinking faster and faster and doesn’t even know why, Hazel’s arms around her pulling her down like an anchor. And not in the steadying way, either. Just the drowning way.


	3. Adoring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to be safe -  
> tw: internalized homophobia

Priya’s staring into the dark, heavy snores and soft murmurs disrupting the quiet of the bedroom. Hazel’s wrapped around her, her breath brushing against the hairs on Priya’s neck as she pushes into her back, her body warm and inviting but her presence chilling and terrifying.

Her arms feel as if they’re strangling Priya, choking out all the air from her lungs and leaving her throat raw and bloodied. Her mind’s fogged and sleep’s evading her, even as she lets herself hesitantly relax into the arms around her.

Hazel shifts behind her, tugging Priya impossibly closer in her sleep, their bodies pressing flush together, legs tangling beneath the sheets, and lips and breath and eyelashes and _everything_ tickling Priya. 

Priya’s breath hitches at the change, every centimetre of Hazel’s skin on hers feels like it's crawling, the fingers on her sides feels like daggers, every breath feels like fire set to burn, every - 

It’s gone. The haze that’s followed Priya for days - maybe weeks, at this point - is gone. It’s just… _poof_.

And Priya’s urge to crawl out of her skin has skyrocketed, intent on reaching Pluto.

\---

Priya doesn’t sleep that night, not a single second. Not when every fibre of her being has become dedicated to self-loathing, anxiety, and absolute fear.

She hates herself for what she’s become, for what she’s going to lose, and for what she can’t control. She hates that she’s trapped forever, because she knows she can’t just walk away, it’d break Hazel’s heart, not to mention her own. And she hates that it doesn’t make sense. This doesn’t happen to her, this _isn’t_ her. She - she isn’t - she doesn’t… she can’t possibly… She doesn’t like women, okay?! 

She’s straight, always has been and always will be. Except, Hazel starts to sigh and murmur behind her, close enough that Priya can feel the way the exhale blows her hair, just the tiniest amount, and her heart sings. It sings for Hazel, all of her, even the bits that are annoying, like how she won’t get out of bed without tea, or she somehow manages to piss off the entire Villa all at once. 

But it also sings for the blinding spotlight of a smile she gives Priya after she takes that first sip of tea, it sings because even if the entire world can’t stand her, she never once meant for it, never once considered it. Yet, she doesn’t fight it, she doesn’t beg and plead to be taken back, for everything to be forgotten. She’s never anything but herself, and Priya adores her for it, for not being afraid.

Because Priya’s afraid, she always is. She’s afraid of getting dumped or ridiculed, fired or humiliated, disowned or hated. And she’s afraid right now, she’s absolutely petrified to the point that she can’t do so much as _breathe_ at the moment. She's afraid that she doesn’t know when that’ll stop, when she’ll feel as free and loose as Hazel used to make her, when she can sink into Hazel’s arms without feeling as if they’re barbed wire.

And that’s where the anxiety comes in, a crippling feeling as it overwhelms her senses, her heart rate spiking, breath quickening, and what feels like every millimeter of her skin begins to sweat. She can feel tears behind her eyes and she wants to shed them, even though she knows she can’t. Holy fuck, does she want to shed them until her pillowcase is soaked, until Hazel’s awake and wiping them away for her. She wants to scream and sob and scream some more, because this isn’t right.

It’s not right to have feelings for your best friend - your straight best friend, especially when you’re straight, too. It’s not right to suddenly want to see what it’d be like to kiss your best friend, not when you’re the last thing she’d ever want to kiss. It’s not right to want to hold onto her as long as you can, not when she deserves to leave you, to find someone she actually wants. 

It’s not right, and Priya hates it, all of it.

\---

The lights flick on, shouts from the blinded Islanders filling the room as their day begins sooner than anticipated, sooner than wanted, for every single person asleep in the room, but particularly a sleep-deprived, anxiety-ridden Priya.

Hazel groans, shuffling closer to close a gap that miraculously appeared in the early hours of the morning to bury her face in Priya’s shoulder, with her arm flinging across a fabric-covered torso, slender fingers lightly brushing Priya’s side. Priya rubs at her eyes before sitting up, only a few other Islanders doing the same as the others try to hide from the light.

“Pri, why? It’s so early,” Hazel complains as she curls up tighter, a ball of morning anguish.

“I guess I’m just awake this morning,” she shrugs, attempting nonchalance and glancing down at the form beside her. Hazel has covered her head with pillows but her arm still remains, draped across Priya’s lap now, with a hand on her thigh, nails idling scratching, burning Priya through her pyjamas.

A text chimes from Priya’s phone, and she shoves Hazel’s arm off harshly, receiving an upset groan in response. Priya ignores it to the best of her abilities, skimming the message to find that she’s required in the Beach Hut this morning.

Priya collects herself, quickly slipping out from the covers, and darts out of the cave of horrors that has become the bedroom, rushing to the dressing room and leaving Hazel behind. She’s the first one in and grabs a towel, striding to the to shower to kill some time before she can kill even more in the Beach Hut.

\---

“Why do you think the public voted for you and Hazel to cook dinner last night?”

An indifferent shrug, “I don’t know. Hazel’s a good cook, I guess?”

“Were they expecting drama?”

“I don’t know. I’m not the public, am I?” she answers defensively, glare flickering between the camera lens and producer.

Priya’s still grumbling over the last question, her lack of sleep making her infinitely more irritable when they continue, “Were they expecting romance?”

Priya stares at the producer behind the camera, arms crossed protectively as she privately wishes Hazel was there with her, then chastising herself for being reliant _Hazel_ of all people. “I don’t know. Doesn’t that tie in with drama? We’re in a friendship couple,” she responds indignantly, silently hoping if she says it enough it’ll erase how badly she wishes it weren't true.

“Is that all?”

“Yes please,” Priya stands, stunning the producer across from her for a moment until she realises the mistake, “Oh, wait, was that not - are we not done?”

“No, you can go,” the producer waves her off with an exasperated sigh.

Priya attempts to hide a grin, succeeding by a centimetre as she marches out of the Beach Hut that’s already left a bad taste in her mouth. Head down, she inspects her nails distractedly, still perplexed over the odd, but thankfully short-lived, line of questioning. They can’t possibly know, can they?

A shout rings in her ears, “Pri!” She glances up, finding Hazel running full force. Priya freezes, tensing in preparation for the imminent collision, but Hazel skids to a stop before her, face flushed and eyes wide, “How was the Beach Hut?”

Priya drops her arms that had risen to guard herself, “Little weird but alright, I guess. What are you up to?” Priya attempts to emit a cool confidence, one that she’s mastered over the years. Until her brow furrows, puzzled at Hazel’s unexpected presence, “Wait, why are you up?”

Hazel grins, “Bobby made me tea to get me up. But I’m headed to the Beach Hut, too,” Hazel's smile grows, her eyes crumpling as she beams brighter than the sun, her teeth sunk into her bottom lip to prevent her smile from leaving Priya with sunburn.

“Have fun,” Priya smiles back gently, stepping past the smaller woman and awkwardly patting her shoulder, internally cringing at her inability to just be _normal_ , in every sense of the word.

\---

Priya’s draped across a lounger, letting the heat of the day soak her skin as conversation flits through the Villa’s grounds. Her arm is placed across her eyes, blocking the harsh light from the sun in the sky.

Something crashes into Priya’s legs, her upper body shooting up in response to find Hazel smiling happily. Priya jerks backwards at the sight and presses her knees to her chest, carefully watching as Hazel’s face drops. Priya’s fingers skate up and down her shins awkwardly, her eyes straying from the confusion swimming in Hazel’s. 

Neither utter a single sound for a moment, Priya focusing on her knee and the fingertips drumming across it while Hazel shifts to sit up properly, focusing on Priya’s tense features. She lets out a heavy breath, “Okay. Well. I’m, uh… going to go… refill my water bottle!” Hazel announces, grabbing her near-full bottle and hurrying into the kitchen.

Priya’s eyes follow her receding form, a confusing mass of emotions and thoughts threatening to burst from her chest and head. When Hazel’s successfully disappeared, Priya drops her forehead to her knees with a groan, internally berating herself for the second time today for being so weird. Or so obvious. Or for just being _awful_ , in general.

\---

Priya takes a swig from her water bottle as she walks across the lawn, intent on making it inside to avoid the sweltering heat that has started to become too much to handle on the bean bags.

“Pri!” A very, very familiar voice shouts out.

Priya winces, taking a steady breath before looking to the source. She finds Hazel standing outside of the kitchen, her glimmering, sparkling grin in place as she walks directly towards Priya, who’s begun to panic. A lot.

She glances for an escape, not finding one as she stands beside the pool. Hazel calls again, “You coming inside?” She sounds hopeful, excited to get Priya alone for a reason that is certainly not what Priya would prefer.

Well, there goes that plan. “No!” Priya shouts before she even realises what she’s doing, where she’s even _going._ She dives into the deep end of the pool, water bottle, coverup, meticulously done hair and all.

She stays beneath the surface for a minute, opening her eyes and watching the sun’s rays filter through the water as she screams at herself. Why the hell did she just jump in the pool?! It’s a valid question, and one with a very unsatisfying answer: To avoid Hazel at all costs.

She kicks up to the surface, the heels strapped onto her feet making it difficult. Her head breaks the waves as her hair sticks to her face, barely moving as she attempts to shake it out of her way. Smart move, Priya, wrecking your outfit in the middle of the day. She glances around, finding Hazel walking across the lawn, a crease between her brows.

She stops at the edge of the pool, crouching to get as close to Priya as she can, to keep whatever just happened to Priya private between them, “You okay?” she asks softly, concern raging in those almost-green eyes.

Priya forces on a grin, “Yep! Just thought I’d go for a swim!” she kicks off from the wall, swimming backwards to prove her point.

Hazel doesn’t seem at all convinced, but she has the decency to leave Priya be. Priya wishes she didn’t walk away just then, but she knows it’s better this way, it’s better if Hazel never finds out, it’s better if the _world_ never finds out how wrong she is.

“Tsk, tsk,” sounds from nearby, startling Priya from her depressing reverie. She turns sharply, finding Lottie with a smirk. Her legs are dangling in the water as she sits on the edge, shaking her head at Priya. 

“What?” the older woman spits, slowly swimming closer with a frown.

Lottie’s smirk grows, “I’m guessing you _figured it out,_ ” she emphasizes the last words, nearly hissing them in her hushed tone.

Priya forces her eyes to refrain from widening, forces her voice to remain steady, “I don't know what you’re talking about…” She shifts nervously, latching onto the wall of the pool and propping her elbows on the edge. She taps the concrete with her long nails, avoiding Lottie’s judgmental gaze.

Lottie scoffs, “You mean you don’t know why you just jumped in the water, heels and everything at just the _sight_ of Hazel? Bull.”

“Why do you even care?” Priya snaps, jaw set as she finally looks up to Lottie, finding those haunting green eyes staring into her soul.

Lottie leans close, right in Priya’s face, “I care because Hazel’s my friend. And I don’t let people fuck with my friends.” Her voice is low, threatening as she leans back, “So get your shit together before you do something even stupider and she leaves your arse.”

Priya huffs indignantly, tosses her water bottle up to the ground and pulls off her heels and coverup. She grabs Lottie’s wrist, the other woman attempting to squirm out of her grasp. “Would you stop it?” she spits through gritted teeth. “I just need your hair tie.”

Lottie stops trying to pull herself free, letting Priya pull the black tie off her wrist and down her hand, slipping it over her own and tying back her soaked hair. She tucks a few wet strands behind her ears, carefully pushing off the wall and pulling her legs up to float on her back. Might as well enjoy the water at this point.

\---

It’s another recoupling night with the possibility of a dumping, what with the two new girls’ arrival in the Villa. The girls now heavily outnumber the boys, who are choosing tonight. Well, the boys and Priya. She’s actually up first, with the entirety of the Villa available. 

But her pick’s never been easier, not when Hazel’s smiling softly and swaying on her feet, watching Priya happily with no boys lined up for either of them this time. Well, none that are openly lined up. 

“Okay, so,” Priya starts, raking in a stabilising breath, “I want to couple up with this person because without them I wouldn’t be here. And I really want them to find a boy on their terms,” she grits her teeth to get the words out. Another breath, this time to calm her, “So… The person I want to couple up with is Hazel.” Priya doesn't even bother with the anticipation this time, announcing her pick quickly and worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

Hazel beams as she skips over, pulling Priya into a warm hug as soon as she lands at her side. Priya does her best to return it, even as her mind shouts at her that it’s a mistake, that even recoupling with her was a mistake, that letting her in at all was a mistake. A few of the Islanders share quick and uneasy glances as the two embrace, somewhat stiffly on Priya’s part, an air of confusion and indifference mingling into an odd concoction. 

They sit, excited to be safe from the looming dumping that, without each other, they’d be most at risk for. Hazel hums as her head drops to Priya’s shoulder, pulling one of Priya’s hands into her lap and fiddling with a ring. Priya’s entire body goes rigid as Hazel’s fingers and nails ghost along her skin, her hair tickling Priya as it falls along her shoulder and back.

The remainder of the recoupling’s uneventful, at least from Priya’s perspective. There’s some switching, but nothing is captivating enough to distract Priya from the presence beside her, the presence that hums when she shifts and whose skin brushes Priya’s as she does.

It’s making Priya insane, the thought that it’s almost real, almost something more than a friendship couple, yet it isn’t, and she knows she can’t want it to be. It’s not real, it’s not anything more, it’s nothing but an illusion, an illusion that’s going to drive Priya mad at this rate.

\---

Rain beats down on the Villa’s walls and windows in a steady, constant rhythm, trapping the Islanders inside and washing away the best part of Love Island: the perfect weather. The Islanders are coping by building pillow forts, demolishing snacks, and lounging around, basking in the lazy day.

Priya’s sitting on the couch, her chin on her fist, elbow on the armrest as she watches the other. Bobby’s commanding the few people involved in the construction of his fortress, directing the cushion placement and the proper technique for hanging fairy lights. Chelsea squeals as she grabs them, hanging them around the fort excitedly.

Hazel carries a pile of sheets into the lounge, dropping them at Bobby’s feet with a grin. He positively beams in response, hopping down from his pedestal atop the sofa to wrap her in a hug, lifting her off the floor as he squeezes. She laughs near his ear, swatting his shoulder to put her down with more giggles. 

All while Priya watches, slowly disintegrating from the inside out, ash replacing her vital organs until she’s barely alive.

\---

Priya’s attacked from behind, Hazel grasping her shoulders as she lunges over the back of the sofa. Her arms fall over tense shoulders, fingers meeting and tying together in front of Priya’s chest. “What do you think?” the words melt into Priya’s ear, electrocuting every nerve ending they come into contact with.

Her breath momentarily hitches, heart hammering as Hazel’s head settles on her shoulder, her smile no doubt electric as Priya’s brain scrambles for a response, “Yeah,” is the first word she can think of. _Yeah_ to all of this. “Er - I mean, yeah, it’s good,” she mumbles, her cheeks and neck flushing.

Hazel’s arms tighten around her for a half second before retracting back enough for the rest of Hazel to follow them over the sofa, her body launching across the back until she’s sitting criss-cross beside Priya. Her elbows settle on Priya’s thigh, the upper half of the smaller woman leaning forward to glance at the others.

She can’t see the way Priya’s eyes darken or her chest heaves with each labourious breath, Hazel’s flower perfume invading her senses. She turns back with a grin, Priya’s jaw clenching as she paints on one to match, blinking to clear her foggy mind.

The corners of Hazel’s eyes crinkle as she shifts closer, almost crawling into Priya’s lap as her head tucks beneath the other woman’s chin, arms sliding around and clasping against Priya’s side. She sighs happily, a sound that sets Priya on fire and -

Too close. Way too close. She can definitely feel Priya’s thundering heartbeat, hear how ragged her breathing is, sense the hesitation as Priya avoids making any further contact. “Hey, I’m, uh, I’m gonna go get something to eat,” she murmurs into tawny hair below her, patting Hazel’s back awkwardly.

Hazel pulls back, just enough for Priya to make her escape, jumping up and hurrying into the kitchen, trying to keep her legs from all-out sprinting as she leaves Hazel to slump against the armrest with a frown. She glances back as she rounds a corner, just long enough to see Bobby marching over to Hazel with a smile, her frown immediately falling away.

And if Priya actually hurries back to the lounge after grabbing a snack, she’ll never admit that the one gap in her defences is bitter, vicious jealousy.

\---

It’s official, Priya wants to die. Like, step off the terrace and crash into the pavement kind of die. Like, crawl in a hole and wither away until the world forgets about her kind of die. Like, grab a knife from the kitchen and end it all right now kind of die. Maybe if she did, no one would ever find out. Maybe she’d be played up as the victim, instead… It’s certainly tempting.

Now, this isn’t an overreaction to Lottie’s incessant teasing or Hope’s constant bitching, this was sparked by one of Priya’s worst nightmares, maybe _the_ worst one imaginable. And, to make it even better, it’s a nightmare because it’s a dream come true, a dream that should definitely _not_ be coming true.

Hazel’s grinding on her. Full on, arms on either side of Priya, whoops from the other Islanders, her face so close that her breath hits Priya’s neck, grinding. On Priya. Priya. Speaking of, Priya thinks she’s going to have a heart attack, and she can only hope it’ll get here sooner than later.

Maybe if she has a massive brain aneurysm she’ll be distracted by the pain long enough to not think about how hot it is. Because it’s really, really hot the way Hazel’s breathing is getting quicker against Priya’s pulse point. It’s really, really hot the way Hazel strolled up to her without glancing at anyone else, even if it was just the other girls, green-brown eyes on her, and only her. It was really, really hot how she just knew what she wanted and went for it, no hesitation or nerves, just her body suddenly in Priya’s lap.

Priya forces herself to laugh, to act like it’s an amusing joke, to cheer Hazel on and briefly wrap her arms around her, maybe moving back a bit, just enough to be convincing. And it seems to work, a smile plastered on Hazel’s face as she retreats to the terrace, dancing one of her cheesy little victory dances before she disappears.

Priya’s face hurts with the effort of keeping her fake, deluded smile intact, it hurts with the thought that that really was nothing more than a joke, a commentary on the other couples, a laugh about just how ridiculous it would be if any of that was serious, if _they_ were serious. It hurts the worst because she knows it can’t be serious, it wouldn’t be right.

For the rest of the round, none of the boys go near her, staying with their couple for the most part. Bobby dances around in an attempt to earn some laughs, but not even he approaches Priya, the other lads following suit. Well, except for Gary, who shimmied in her face, but that doesn’t really count. Priya feels as if they think she’s tainted or unnecessary, and she supposes she is. She’s only here because of Hazel, and that can’t last forever.

Not when the other lads would be dancing on her if she were on the girls’ team instead of Priya. Not when Bobby would still get on his hands and knees for her, not when everything could still change in the blink of an eye.

But nothing can change for Priya, not when she’s tainted, untouchable. Which, in all honesty, is true. She _is_ untouchable, off-limits to the lads, but not for the reasons she suspects. She’s not tainted, she’s claimed, she just can’t see it yet, can’t see that they don’t want to break their gym buddy’s heart.

\---

Okay, _now_ Priya wants to die. It’s her turn to go and she cannot fathom dancing on Hazel without it meaning something, maybe everything. She cannot fathom being that close to Hazel of her own free will and not kissing her or doing something equally stupid. She cannot fathom sitting on Hazel’s lap and pretending everything's fine, when it so isn’t.

So, like the idiotic coward she is, she doesn’t do any of that. She doesn’t grind on Hazel, she doesn’t even go near Hazel. Instead, she gets up close and personal with the boys. All of them, even Bobby. And it might be - no, it definitely is - a little too close to most - scratch that, _all_ \- of them.

Noah and Ibrahim blush brighter than neon signs, Bobby and Gary laugh and cheer, encouraging her to let loose, and Graham’s a bit of a creep actually, cheering her on with a bit too much excitement and letting his hand stray to her arse for an awkward moment. She moves on from him pretty quick. 

Then, before she knows it, the only person left is Hazel, who gives her the faintest ghost of a smile, a smile that somehow kills Priya more than any other imagined death tonight could. Priya wants to wipe it away or make it massive, she can’t tell which. She wants to launch herself and wrap her arms around Hazel, not even bothering with the challenge, just wanting to confess and pray to every god in existence that it’ll make things better, that Hazel will smile a real, actual, sunshine smile, and it’ll somehow, miraculously be okay.

But Priya’s palms feel sweaty and her head feels funny and she knows she can’t do that, she knows she’s too scared of everything that would happen after. From Hazel rejecting her to everything her family and the world would say to Priya’s own disgusted feelings that would accompany it, Priya knows she can’t and never will be able to.

So she sticks on that fake smile that hurts and struts past Hazel, ruffling her hair teasingly and announcing, “I think my time’s up,” before seeking out the relative safety of the roof terrace.

Well, the would-be safety if Lottie wasn’t glaring at her like that.

\---

Lottie’s furious expression stays glued to Priya the rest of the challenge, even as the results are announced. The girls hurried to join the boys and Hazel, the lonely woman sidling up to Priya with a weak, watery, about-to-collapse smile as they waited for the text.

The girls won, but Hazel doesn’t seem to care enough to complain for once, alarm bells ringing in Priya’s head, a symphony now. She fucked up, didn’t she? But what did she even do? Was Hazel mad she flirted with the guys instead of coming up with a joke act? It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal, right? But oh god, Priya must have really fucked up for Hazel to get that blank look in her eyes, for Hazel to barely react to Chelsea bounding up to her, for Hazel to not even fidget or sway on her toes, still as a statue. 

Oh god, Priya fucked up. She really, really fucked up.

\---

Hazel doesn’t stick around as the Islanders disperse, immediately turning to the Villa and walking inside, ignoring Priya beside her and barely acknowledging Chelsea as she bounces next to her on the way in.

Priya worries her lip between her teeth, her nerves and guilt eating away at her as her hands fidget in front of her. A hand grabs her elbow, yanking her along before she can even react. Lottie drags her over to the daybeds, shoving her down on one and towering over her, “What the hell is wrong with you?!” she hisses.

Priya winces at the tone, the words, the entire predicament. Her head falls to her hands as she slumps, defeated and exhausted and _pissed_ at everything unfair with the world. “I don’t know,” she groans into her palms, Lottie scoffing above her. “I just -” Priya forces a deep breath down her lungs, “I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t think it’d actually _upset_ her.”

“What do you mean you didn’t know?!” Lottie’s voice has risen, certainly loud enough for the others to hear, and she seems to notice this too, forcing her voice back to a sharp hiss, “How the hell did you not know that doing _that_ would upset her?! You totally ignored her to get gross with the guys! You preferred to piss off all the girls instead of just sacking up, Priya! What is wrong with you?!”

Priya’s quiet as she lets her hands fall away from her face, her blank, expressionless face. “Lottie…” she whispers, voice low and rough, “I…” deep breath, “can’t just ‘sack up.’ I can’t do that, not to her.”

Lottie drops beside her on the daybed, staring ahead as she responds, “It’s not _to_ her, it’s _for_ her, arsehole. What you just did _to_ her was awful. So do it _for_ her to fix it.”

Priya shakes her head, feeling hopeless and confused, “How is that going to fix anything? She’ll hate me. Everyone will hate me. _I_ hate me,” her voice tapers off into a whisper, the last three words a confession that was never meant for anyone’s ears.

A dry, humourless laugh breaks free from Lottie’s throat, “You think she’d hate you? Gods, Priya, you’re stupid,” she chuckles breathlessly.

“I thought you were supposed to be nice now,” Priya frowns indignantly, finally feeling something other than unadulterated shame.

“Yeah, but old Lottie’s still lurking, waiting for a chance to pounce on pricks that screw over my friends,” she smirks teasingly.

“Ugh,” Priya groans, her head falling back into her hands, “I’m so sorry. I thought I was past all that rubbish, but I guess not. Lottie, I’m really, really sorry for… _that_.”

“Good. You should be.” Priya breathes a sigh of relief before all the air in her body is sucked out, “But you should tell her that.”

\---

Hazel’s already under the covers when Priya walks into the bedroom. Not even her head’s exposed to the open air as she hides from everyone, no doubt embarrassed or just sad and not wanting to put up with the world.

Priya’s entire being tenses at the sight of the lump in their bed, her gut churning like an ocean, waves of guilt and self-loathing washing over her, sinking her further with every step. She can barely see the sun, submerged in the darkness of the sea as she stops beside Hazel under the covers.

She settles with her knees on the floor, facing the hidden lump and swallowing thickly. She has to do this, she has to fix this, fix their friendship for Hazel’s sake, even if every cell in her body is urging her to run and never look back, never risk slipping up and making everything infinitely worse. But it would only be worse for her, right?

She takes a deep, steadying breath before putting herself at risk, just like Hazel’s done for her a dozen times, before committing to her best friend, just like Hazel’s done for her a hundred times, before _being there_ for this amazing woman, just like Hazel’s done for her a thousand times.

“Haze?” she gently prods the body hidden beneath the duvet. She doesn’t receive a response. “Haze?” she tries again, this time shaking her. “Haze, please,” she pleads, desperate to salvage this.

She’s finally acknowledged, but it’s muffled in the bed’s covers. “What was that?” she asks, keeping her voice low, hand still on Hazel’s obscured shoulder.

The duvet’s pulled back enough to expose Hazel’s mouth, “Can I please just go to bed, Pri? I’m tired, okay?” She’s exhausted and upset and just done with Priya, as much as she tries to keep it from her voice. Yet it’s still there, making Priya queasy.

A brick wall has just been built in front of Priya, and she doesn’t know how to get over it, or around it, or through it. It’s an impossible fortress, a perfect defence to her apologetic offensive. So, she gives up, sighing and standing, squeezing the shoulder beneath her palm, “Yeah, okay. Sorry.” She draws her hand back, turning and leaving for the dressing room.

She stays in there long past the others, brushing her hair even though there are no tangles, sorting her products and outfits and accessories a half dozen times, and fiddling with whatever she can find.

There’s no point in her mind in returning until Hazel’s asleep, no point in facing that brick wall again and attempting to scale it with heels and long nails. She can search for a path around it all she wants, but it’s never-ending, not in Priya’s lifetime, at least.

Except she misses the cracks and the holes in it, the gaps just waiting to be pried open, the crumbling corners of most of the bricks just waiting to be smashed into footholds, the secret brick that leaves it all collapsing into debris.

She misses all of it, but they still crumble, the wall losing half its height as Hazel cuddles up to Priya in her sleep, nestling against the warmth of Priya’s body unconsciously, her murmurs providing some motivation to Priya to keep chipping away until the entirety of that damned wall falls.

And, somehow, Priya feels content to put the work in, to sweat and exhaust herself until she can reach Hazel, until she can look in those green-brown-gray-blue-hazel messes that Priya can't help but find herself adoring, even if nothing is, or ever will be, real between them.


	4. Beaming

Priya doesn’t fall asleep until the early morning, fighting the urge to toss and turn as Hazel curls up to her in her sleep, wrapped around Priya the entire time, even as she shifts incessantly. And it’s certainly not helping Priya, to have Hazel so close and so far, only willing to be near her when she’s unconscious, but still refusing to let go.

She spends what feels like an eternity feeling sorry for herself, feeling hopeless and wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She was never supposed to nearly jump out of her skin because her friend’s breath is brushing against her neck. She was never supposed to be lying awake all night dreading seeing the hurt in her friend’s eyes. She was never supposed to be like this, get so involved, so… so… _heartbroken,_ and all for nothing.

There never was anything, there never will be anything, there never could have been anything. Which just makes it worse, makes it so much worse, to the point that Priya’s losing her mind. It doesn’t make sense, none of it makes sense, not these feelings that shouldn’t exist or this weird throbbing in her chest.

Hazel shifts impossibly closer once again, a habit of hers that is quickly wearing on Priya. An arm slips around her back, forcing her to face Hazel’s closed eyes and the messy hair falling over her face as her cheek nestles into the sheets.

Priya stays frozen, watching Hazel’s chest rise with each inhale and the strand of hair falling over her face shift with each exhale. She follows the rhythm, replicating it herself, slowly sinking into unconsciousness, a heavy blanket that’s just slightly uncomfortable as it weighs down on her, limiting her mobility and creating an unwelcome pressure along her chest.

\---

Priya wakes up in the morning to a freezing bed, Hazel absent from the sheets and Priya’s chest already feeling hollow without her presence. She squirms upright, finding most of the Islanders already long gone. Her lips twist in a frown, taking in the empty bedroom before her.

Well, empty except for Lottie. “Good, you’re up,” she hops up from her bed across the room, striding over and collapsing on Hazel’s side, staring up at the ceiling blankly with her hands laced together on her stomach.

“Yeah?” Priya crosses her legs, twisting to face Lottie. “Were you… waiting for me?”

“Hazel and Gary are on dates,” Lottie says stiffly, barely waiting for Priya to finish her sentence.

Priya slumps at the words, at the implication, head hanging as she stares at the sheets, “Oh.” She swallows thickly, a million emotions devouring her, guilt and despair warring within her chest. “Do you, uh, know who with?”

Lottie shrugs, still watching the ceiling, as if it’ll change and spell out an answer to a question swirling in her mind, “New Islanders is all it said. But…” she rolls onto her side, watching Priya expectantly now, “Did you talk to her last night? And apologise?”

Priya slumps even further, “No. She wanted to go to sleep… so I stopped bothering her,” she admits reluctantly, guilt coming out on top, aiming it’s weapon at her and shooting into her heart, exploding it into thousands of pieces.

“Priya…” Lottie groans. 

“I know!” Priya faceplants into the sheets, “I know!” she mumbles into the fabric. She knows she fucked up, she knows she’s ruined everything now, she knows there’s no going back, as much as she wants to. And she knows that whoever Hazel’s on a date with is going to be better than Priya, is going to be honest and real with her for once.

“Okay, let’s think about this,” Lottie ponders aloud. “You know her and you can fix this,” she reasons, the gears whirring in her mind.

Priya’s head flies up, her eyes wide as she stares at Lottie, disbelief, confusion, and desperation tossing about inside of her, “What? How? That’s - I can? How?”

Lottie rolls her eyes at Priya’s newfound energy, “See, this is where you come in. You’ve gotta do it yourself before whatever prick’s taken her on his date can weasel his way in,” she frowns, settling back on Hazel’s pillow and looking at Priya curiously, “Got any ideas?”

Priya gapes at her, “No, I thought you did!”

Lottie rolls her eyes again, “She’ll be able to tell if it’s my idea. We, uh,” she gestures between Priya and herself, “We have very different thought processes.”

Priya’s lips twist in a frown as her finger taps away anxiously on her knee, “Would apologising again be enough? Or do I need, like, a gesture? Or a gift? How would I even get her a present in here?” she rambles, glancing up to Lottie when she hits a dead end.

She just shrugs.

“ _Ugh!_ ” her face falls against the sheets again. She sucks in a deep breath between her teeth, feeling the heat of the exhale against her face. “Okay. She forgave Bobby, and she was really pissed at him. What I did was definitely worse, but she didn’t seem _mad_ about it, just… hurt,” she frowns against the fabric, hating the thought that she’s correct.

She twists her head to meet Lottie’s eyes, “Is that worse? That’s worse, isn’t it?”

Lottie only shrugs again.

“If you’re not going to help, what are you even doing here, Lottie?!” Priya explodes, feeling the buildup of the last few days finally hitting her, all the emotions that are too strong and the thoughts that are too dark.

Lottie sits up straight, meeting her fiery gaze seriously, “You hurt my friend. I’m not holding your hand or fixing this for you, but I _am_ making sure you do it.”

Priya’s jaw is tight, fists clenched in her lap as she stares at those cool green eyes, slowly feeling her frustration dissolve. But she can’t keep giving up everytime, she can’t keep hiding the emotions pounding against her skull, she can’t keep lying and saying she’s fine.

Because she’s not. She’s not fine, not at all. Not when her best friend hates her, not when she hates herself, not when the people spying on her life all hate her. She’s not fine anymore, she’s not enjoying the ride, she’s not relishing the sun and the weather, she’s not embracing the fun of _Love Island._

“Fine.” She turns around, standing from the bed and storming to the dressing room, leaving Lottie behind. She grabs a random suit and changes, throwing her hair in a braid so she doesn’t have to bother with it, before leaving the room and striding onto the lawn.

She drops on a daybed, jiggling her leg impatiently as she waits for Hazel and the new Islander to get back, eyes scanning the lawn incessantly for any sign of them, all while working through how to fix things. She could pretend it didn’t happen, not addressing it worked for Bobby, it might work for her. And she’ll be extra nice too, make her breakfast if she hasn’t had any and compliment her outfit. That’ll work; Hazel likes it when people are nice out of nowhere. And she has a leg up, she knows her more than whoever she’s on a date with. Her leg slows as she decides, her tapping switching to the drumming of her fingers on her kneecap.

At some point Chelsea shows up, dropping beside her and chattering away about the new Islander, and just what they’ll be like. Maybe they’re nice, maybe they’re mean. Maybe they’re shy, maybe they’re bold. Maybe they’ve fancied Hazel all season, maybe they made a split-second decision. Maybe they’re wowing her, maybe she hates them.

Who knows what they’re like, who even knows who they are?

\---

They’re Henrik. 

Henrik’s the new Islander - or returning Islander, Priya supposes. Henrik, who Hazel was so smitten with. Henrik, who’s laughing with the other Islanders like he never left. Henrik, who Hazel’s chatting with and smiling that sunshine smile as the rest of the Villa falls away.

Priya turns away, not sure where to run but knowing she needs to escape this very instance. She settles on the relative safety of the Villa, hurrying inside but feigning nonchalance as she rushes away from the scene on the lawn. She retreats into the empty bedroom, the Islanders outside busy enjoying the weather and new Islanders, and falls to her bed, grabbing the duvet and pulling it over herself.

She lets the darkness from under the covers encase her, falling into the sheets surrounding her, feeling the heat of her breath filling the small space, embracing the comfort of being truly alone for once, and just… giving up.

Her stupid little plan she made on the daybed will never work, it’s not enough to do little gestures, so that’s over and done. Why did she ever think she could just fix things between them? That Hazel would just forget that she gave lap dances to all the guys and ignored her? Why did she ever think that the date wouldn’t be a big deal? Why did she ever think there was a chance?!

God, she sounds like a love-stricken teenager again, doesn’t she? All emotional and dramatic over every little thing, hiding from the world under the covers and whining over everything that’s her own fault, everything she could have done but is too much of a coward to do, everything that could have made the world so perfect and bright and sunshiny, if she wasn’t so afraid of what comes after.

She should just forget it, forget everything. Forget Hazel, forget Henrik, forget the melodrama and just have fun. That’s why she’s here. To enjoy the sun and challenges, make friends and nothing more, not at this stage in the game, not when every attempt has blown up in her face. Bobby didn’t fancy her, she scared off Ibrahim, Noah couldn’t make up his damn mind, Felix was too immature, and Hazel’s straight as a ruler and she's supposed to be, too. Nothing has worked, she should just give it up.

Alright, it’s settled then. No more worrying, no more stressing, no more bothering with all the bad. She’s just going to drink and sunbathe and let Hazel do whatever she damn well pleases and not let it bother her. Okay, yeah. She can do that. She can definitely do that.

\---

She can’t do that.

She tried, she really tried, but she fell apart. She tried to ignore Hazel and to keep her distance, but Hazel kept coming up to her and being sweet and smiling and laughing and she crumbled. So then she tried to just see Hazel as a friend again, but Hazel kept winking and flirting and standing way too close and she failed at that, too. She even tried drinking to numb her senses, but now she’s just drunker than everyone else and watching Henrik chat with Hazel as she hides in the corner of the kitchen to avoid conversation.

A hip bumps into hers, her head turning and gaze settling on Lottie and her stupid green eyes, an eyebrow cocked as she meets Priya’s own dark ones. “Did you ever settle on a plan?” she inquires curiously.

Priya frowns, shaking her head as she turns to the drink in her hand, swirling it distractedly, watching the whirlpool in the center before downing it in one go, further fuel for the hangover that’s going to wreck her tomorrow. But who cares? Maybe she can hide under the covers all day if her head hurts enough.

Lottie sighs from beside her, “So you’re just gonna give up?”

Priya shrugs, still spinning her cup in her hand with a frown. Nothing would work, anyway, she might as well just kill her time before the next dumping. Then she’ll be able to actually ignore Hazel, throw herself into her work like she always does until Hazel forgets about her, just like everyone else probably will.

Her red solo cup is yanked from her hand, Lottie crumpling it in her own, “Quit wallowing. If you’re not fixing things, then at least stop acting like a widow and have fun. Go dance with her or Chelsea or _anyone_ ,” she nudges her to the lawn, where an impromptu dance floor has been set up.

“Lottie, I’m fine, just let me -”

“Nope!” Lottie grabs her wrist, drops her crumpled cup onto a countertop, and drags her to the dancefloor. “Hey, Chels!” she calls the blonde’s name, earning a squeal as Chelsea whirls around, already making a beeline for the pair. “Dance with Priya,” she holds the woman in question’s wrist out, Chelsea immediately grabbing her hand and pulling her along.

“Okay!” she hums, jumping up and down in time with the music with a massive smile on her face, her hair messy as she bounces around, her heels having been abandoned at some point in the night.

Priya glances around for an escape, but finding none, she gives in, swaying slightly as Chelsea continues jumping, seemingly immune to exhaustion, even with flushed cheeks and a disgruntled outfit.

Lottie grins at Priya’s slight frown, patting her on the shoulder as she heads back to the kitchen, calling, “I’ll make you more drinks!” over her shoulder as she goes.

Chelsea takes Priya’s other hand in hers, still unstoppable as Priya forces a grin, her buzz from her drinks enough to make it feel at least a little real. Priya spends a while dancing with Chelsea, Bobby at one point coming up to shimmy at them until Chelsea erupts into giggles, with Gary and Hannah having joined them, water still dripping from their outfits by the time Priya returns from her fifth refill from the kitchen, provided by Lottie.

Priya barely sees Hazel all night, and she can’t decide whether that’s a good thing or not. Her only glimpses of tawny hair are as she dances with Henrik or Bobby, or sits in the kitchen with Lottie and Hope, legs crossed before her as she sits on the countertop, stirring the straw of her drink absentmindedly.

The last time Priya sees her awake is when Chelsea’s prattling on about cat cafes and watching the stars twinkle, her voice one of the few sounds filling the lawn. Priya glanced up to see Hazel with Henrik by the fire pit, smiling along to whatever he was saying, her head on the back of the bench and her legs curled against her, a hand twirling the tips of her locks.

Priya threw back another shot after that, and she didn’t even know what number it was, she lost count ages ago, and fell back to the lawn beside Chelsea. They laid there together, watching the stars shine in the darkness of cold and lonely space until Hope came to drag them inside, Chelsea only agreeing after a half hour of debating and countless yawns.

She fell into bed that night beside a curled up Hazel, her back to Priya and the duvet wrapped around her, none left on Priya’s side by the time she arrived. She had to tug on it to steal it back, yanking until Hazel rolled over, attaching to Priya’s side like a leech, just as she has every single night they’ve been coupled up. 

But Priya’s too wasted to care, too comfy to struggle, and too tired to stay awake getting lost in her own head tonight. She just accepts it and trails her hand through cinnamon hair until she drifts off to sleep, which doesn’t take too long after the crazy day they’ve had, the remnants of it still haunting Priya.

\---

“So do you think Henrik wants you to pick him at the recoupling? Or are you picking Bobby?” Priya asks as casually as she can manage, occupying her hands by mixing pancake batter above the kitchen counter.

Hazel stops in her tracks, pausing with a jug of milk in her hands by the fridge, and turns back around. She stares at the side of Priya’s head, the red hair that’s fallen from behind her ear to curtain her face and hide her struggle to get those words out. “No?” she answers warily, milk still in her hands.

“Oh? So you’re going with Henrik?” Priya has to swallow the lump that’s formed in her throat, just barely keeping her voice from splintering alongside her heart, it’s beat erratic against her ribs.

“I’m not going with either of them,” Hazel's tone is cautious as her legs begin moving again, leading her to the fridge. She yanks it open, tossing the jug in and starts back for Priya. She leans against the counter, watching Priya carefully but still not catching her dark eyes.

Priya swallows again, working to school her features into a neutral, curious expression, “You’re not? Who else then? I think everyone else is taken, babes.”

“What’s going on with you?” Hazel asks, arms crossed over her chest as she searches Priya, gaze heavy and scrutinising as it skates along the woman beside her, leaning forward enough to pass the curtain of red, her face now visible in Priya’s line of sight.

She swallows again, “What do you mean?”

“Stop that.” Hazel’s brows knit together, her expression serious as her eyes bore into the side of Priya’s face, burning her skin as she mixes the batter.

“Stop what?”

“That.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Priya shrugs.

“It’s _that._ Acting so weird and then pretending everything’s fine. What’s going on, why are you acting so weird?” Hazel slips even closer, Priya jumping away and turning to the stove, pouring some batter into a pan, the sizzle filling the air.

“Oh, um…” Priya shrugs again, “I don’t - I thought I was… I don’t know…” she mumbles, setting the bowl of batter back on the counter and standing over the pan to avoid hazel-adjacent eyes.

Hazel follows, her hand landing on Priya’s arm and concern gleaming in those vibrant eyes, “Did I do something? Do we need to talk? What’s been going on with you?”

“Nothing, babes,” she plasters on a fake smile and finally meets her gaze, slowly retreating from her touch, “I’m fine, I don’t know what you’re on about, hun. So who are you picking tonight?” she smiles, and it feels gross and plastic and _wrong._

Hazel’s face hardens, eyes ablaze as she stares at Priya. The older woman shifts nervously, suddenly wary of the fire in the gaze on her that sparked in the briefest of moments. It happened in the blink of an eye, a single heartbeat, a quiet exhale.

Hazel’s arm shoots out, grabbing Priya by the wrist and dragging her further inside, and Priya doesn’t protest once, too shocked and paralysed to say anything as Hazel leads her to the roof terrace. It’s empty for once, and Hazel nearly shoves Priya into taking a seat.

Priya stares up at her looming figure, lips parted as she’s stared down, Hazel’s hands resting on her hips sternly. “Well?” she prompts expectantly, cocking her head as she breaks the silence that's fallen over them.

Priya blinks, taken back by the question and swallows thickly, “What?” she counters harshly.

“What’s wrong with you?” she gestures wildly in the air, eyes still burning Priya without care.

Priya frowns at the wording, sitting up straighter as she answers, “I told you: nothing. What’s wrong with you?”

Hazel glares down at Priya, “What’s wrong with me is that I’m annoyed. You’ve been weird and distant and won’t talk to me. And now you’re going on about me coupling up with one of the guys. What the hell is that about, Priya?”

Priya balks at the accusation, crossing her arms protectively, “I have no idea what you’re on about, I was just making conversation. I’ve been fine, at least until you dragged me up here.”

Hazel huffs, stamping her foot as she rakes her hands through her hair in frustration. She takes a calming breath, slowly lowering her hands back down. She takes one more before settling in front of Priya, facing the sky with her arms held to her sides as she keeps her voice low and gentle, “I’m sorry for dragging you up here. But you’ve been weird these past two days and I need to know why. If it’s something I did then I’m sorry, but I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me,” she glances down at Priya with an edge of hopefulness in her gaze.

And Priya instantly crumbles at the sight of it, “I don’t know, okay?! But you didn’t do anything, I promise - it’s my fault, not yours, but you can’t fix it and it’s just weird and I hate it and I’m sorry, but I just really can’t do this!” Her voice has risen in her irritation, but for once she’s not wary that they’ll be overheard.

“Pri…” Hazel breathes out, bending down to meet the woman in question’s gaze head on, worry filling her expression and voice. “What’s going on, hun?”

“I - ugh! This is so stupid!” Priya exclaims, hands flying in the air.

“What’s stupid?” Hazel asks delicately.

Priya starts gesturing wildly between them, “This! This is stupid! It’s stupid that I can’t get this!” Her head drops to her hands, “This isn’t me,” she finally whispers; to Hazel, to herself, to the air, to no one in particular.

One of her hands is removed from her hair, gentle fingers lightly brushing over her palm, “Pri, babes, seriously. I need you to tell me what’s going on.” Priya doesn’t look at her, just tightens her grip on her hair with one hand and her hold on Hazel with the other. “Priya. Talk to me, hun,” Hazel urges one last time, fingers still brushing lightly.

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Priya’s chest rises with each breath, a soothing, steady rhythm to match her thoughts and her pulse to, a constant in the tornado she’s suddenly found herself in.

Inhale, exhale. She finally sits up, retracting her hands into her lap and twisting them anxiously, gaze on her fidgeting fingers and the bracelet dangling from her wrist, shifting with each movement of her hands.

Inhale, exhale. “Okay. I can do this,” she whispers, avoiding a questioning eye and focusing on the heart thumping in her chest, beating against her ribs in an attempt to escape from its prison.

Inhale, exhale. She turns to Hazel, palms flat on her thighs as she forces her hands to still in order to steel herself for the coming words, “I know you have that thing with Henrik, but…” 

Inhale, exhale. Her eyes fall shut as she forces the words out, “I want this to be for real. Like, you and me. For real. ‘Cause I like you. A lot. Like, for real. More than friends. For real. I keep saying that,” she frowns.

Hazel starts laughing, almost hysterically, and drops her head forward, her forehead on Priya’s knee as her shoulders shake with each gasping laugh as she starts to lose her breath, “That was it?!” she calls, her eyes lifting to meet Priya’s, a smile on her lips.

“What - I - Yeah?” Priya’s aware of how terrified she must sound, how wide and panicked her eyes are, how shaky her hands in her lap have become, but she can’t even prevent it anymore. She can’t prevent her terror, not when her worst fear is coming to life before her eyes.

Hazel sobers when she begins to see Priya’s reaction, inspecting the hands that have begun to fidget again, trembling in Priya’s lap. She reaches out and covers overactive fingers with her own, squeezing tight, “Babes, I’m sorry, but I thought you were going to say you’re dying or something.”

That lightens the mood a bit, in a way only Hazel can seem to manage, the faintest of smiles quirking Priya’s lips, “I promise I’m not,” until it falls away. “But, um… I think I need an answer?” Priya risks, a risk she might as well take at this point.

The brunette before Priya’s impossibly dark eyes pauses for a moment, her head tilting as she meets the imploring gaze staring back at her, simultaneously oblivious and curious, “What do you mean?”

A few disbelieving blinks are the immediate response she receives as Priya processes slowly, “Well, like,” she starts, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment, “Can we be for real or did I just make a fool of myself?” she spits the words out quickly, not trusting herself to draw them out.

“Oh!” It seems to click, green-hazel mixes lighting up, “Well, yeah, duh. I thought we were already getting there,” she answers casually, smiling sweetly.

Priya’s jaw drops open in pure shock, her entire reality crumbling as she fumbles to make sense of the remains, “We - we were? But you always said, like, just friends. And what about Henrik?” Priya blabbers pointlessly, an answer to the puzzle that’s been presented to her suddenly alluding her.

She waves her hand before Priya dismissively, “Eh. Henrik’s sweet but…” she trails off, eyes skating along Priya’s body quickly as she stands upright before landing on Priya’s face and inspecting every pore on the skin. Dark cheeks flush even dark as Priya starts blushing furiously at the implication before she continues, “He’s not you, babes,” she answers softly, settling beside Priya with one hand still steadying hers.

“I - What?” the maroon-haired woman stutters.

Hazel grins, “What? I’m not blind, Pri. Just ‘cause I wasn’t all over you like the boys doesn’t mean I can’t see how amazing you are.” The blush only grows as Hazel nudges her shoulder playfully. “As for the whole not saying anything bit,” she drawls, her eyes splitting from Priya’s finally. “I didn’t know your boundaries. I wasn’t about to put you on proper blast, y’know,” she shrugs, entirely unaffected. “But if this whole time you haven’t been seeing me like that, then yeah, let’s change that,” she smiles, and it's like pure sugar filling Priya's veins.

Every ounce of tension in Priya’s body dissipates in an instant as she falls to the side dramatically, collapsing with a sigh of relief, “Oh my _God,_ that was _awful,_ ” her body sinking into the cushions beneath her.

Hazel laughs, a sound that electrocutes Priya as soon as it sparks beside her, and she can’t help but laugh too, her throat growing raw as her entire body shakes uncontrollably. Hazel collapses beside her, her voice carrying into the sky as she watches the clouds shift above them, above the privacy of the terrace, the safety of it.

After all this, they have a chance to be for real. After all this, Priya doesn’t have to stress, doesn’t have to worry, doesn’t have to loathe herself anymore. After all this, they’re just laughing hysterically on the terrace at nine in the morning with murderous hangovers, every concern and anxiety forgotten.

\---

The terrace feels like forever ago as they stand side by side on the challenge platform, too large of a gap between them as they stand apart, Priya’s nerves still preventing her from risking even a glance in the brunette’s direction. Yet somehow they’re tied for first in this challenge, along with Hope and Noah.

And of course, Hazel’s taunting everyone, dancing for every victory, and nearly provoking Gary into punching her as she calls him a loser, Lottie having to step in and deescalate the situation. Hazel wraps her in a hug once Gary backs off, squeezing her and squealing about “growth” while Lottie laughs in her hair, glancing over her shoulder to Priya.

Actually, she glances at Priya a lot during the challenge, as if she somehow knows what happened this morning on the terrace, but that’s impossible, right? They spent all morning together and attached at the hip as the text announcement was read aloud. Priya’s positive it’s impossible that she knows already, that she can just _tell._

Well, until Lottie nudges her as they walk back to the Villa, a knowing smile on her lips, “So you fixed it?”

Priya frowns, brows knit together, “How’d you know?”

Lottie quirks an eyebrow, “I cast a spell a few days ago, obviously,” she shrugs. “But I am proud of you,” Lottie adds, averting her gaze and crossing her arms as she stares straight ahead.

“Really? You’re not, like, pissed that it took me so long?” she watches her warily, half expecting her to sprout horns and fangs and attack her or something.

“Oh, no, I am,” Lottie grins, “But you also make her happy and that means I have to like you,” she turns to Priya, expression earnest for once.

“I thought we solved this a while ago?” Priya cocks an eyebrow, watching the woman beside her cautiously.

Lottie shrugs, “Yeah, but you fucked up really bad, so I kinda hated you again for a bit. But we’re good again, as long as you don’t do something stupid,” she smiles cheekliy.

“No promises,” Priya smiles right back, feeling the weight of the past few days lifting from her shoulders, relief swarming her for the second time today, tension dissipating from her once again in just a few hours.

Lottie’s piercing green eyes darken, serious and expressive all at once, “At least promise her, Priya.” Her tone turns cold, judgemental as Priya fumbles to correct herself.

“I mean, yeah, I’ll try, but sometimes it’s hard to stop, I guess,” she mumbles, averting her gaze to stare at the path beneath their feet.

“Just try,” Lottie requests, softer now as her gaze turns ahead once more.

Priya nods, resolute and wholehearted, “I will.”

\---

The fire lights up the gathered Islanders features, red and orange dancing on their skin, shadows playing in Hazel’s eyes as she glances around at the others. Excitement, anticipation, and nerves are currently brewing a dangerous potion over the flames licking at the bottom of the cauldron.

Henrik’s eyes are nearly glued to Hazel, her own green-brown awkwardly avoiding the gaze on her. In fact, she seems to be avoiding every pair of eyes she can, not even meeting Priya’s imploring ones.

Though, Priya is doing considerably well with the lack of reassurance. If considerably well counts as fidgeting in her seat and contemplating sticking her hand in the orange flames to escape this terrifying ordeal. Maybe her rings would melt and fuse with her skin. They wouldn’t let her back on the show with metal stuck to her, would they?

Priya doesn’t get the chance to test another of her twisted hypotheses, a beep sounding from someone’s phone. Hazel’s, Priya guesses, an assumption immediately confirmed by Hazel whipping her phone out hurriedly, scanning the text and jumping up before reading it aloud, “Hazel, you're up first. Please select the Islander you'd like to be coupled up with for the remainder of your summer.”

“Alright,” Hazel nods, slipping her phone away as her eyes bore into the flames lapping at the sky, wringing her hands anxiously in front of her. “I’m coupling up with this person because they’re amazing and brilliant and gorgeous -” and all of a sudden Priya’s face is very flushed “- and I can’t believe this is actually happening,” her teeth worry her bottom lip, the pink of her lips still visible in the dark light of night. 

The Islanders are silent - expectant - as Hazel takes a deep breath, steeling herself, “I want to couple up with Priya. But for real this time.” She says it quickly, as if she stretches out the words they may rip into pieces before she can finish uttering them.

There’s quiet for a moment, some puzzled glances and unsurprised expressions dotting the space surrounding the fire, their illuminated expressions sending a dozen emotions through Priya. She stands abruptly, her heels crashing to the ground with a click, a sudden determination to prove herself - to the Islanders, to the audience, to herself - lighting up her mind as she strides over to Hazel, cupping her cheeks and connecting their lips with a fire to rival the flickering in front of the Islanders.

And it feels right. It feels right to Priya. It feels right to Hazel. And it seems right to everyone around them.

It’s just… right. It’s right that it’s now, it’s right that it’s here, it’s right that it’s _them,_ not anyone else’s skin beneath Priya’s palms, not anyone else’s waist in Hazel’s arms. And that’s a fact Priya treasures more than all the gold that could be dripping from or fused to her body.

It’s a near guarantee that Priya would be beside herself if anyone else was standing where she is, Hazel’s arms around their waist and fingers slowly tracing their lower back. Priya would be watching in horror if Hazel buried her face in anyone else’s shoulder, red staining her cheeks in unfamiliar embarrassment from the display. Priya would be a husk of herself, soulless and numb, if anyone else had a lingering taste of citrus on their tongue, gloss on their lips.

But no one else is, no one else is standing there, no one else is with Hazel, no one else has the remnants of a kiss on their skin. Only Priya does. Only Priya’s heart is about to beat out of her chest, and only Priya’s nerves are sky-high as she watches a camera circle her and Hazel, a horrifying reminder of where they are, of how many people she’s just proved herself to.

Only Priya’s terrified of the reaction that spark of a kiss is going to have, whether it lights an explosive and blows her apart, or starts a wildfire that will light up the sky, Priya doesn’t know, and it paralyses her. It leaves her staring into the flames that dwarf the fire in her chest, a fire of passion and affection, of fear and ill-fitting shame, of confusion and certainty that she prays will fizzle out, that won’t burn her from the inside out, charring her heart to ash.

Hazel’s hands slip around to her hips, her face pulling back from where she’d hidden in Priya’s red locks, firelight oranges and muted greens crashing into Priya’s own glowing eyes, a thousand other lights flickering within them, each one less and less discernible. “We should probably sit,” pink lips whisper, lifting in a small, amused smile as a hip bumps Priya teasingly. 

“Right, yeah,” she pulls away, grabbing Hazel’s hand and yanking her down to the bench, a somehow familiar sensation after all these recouplings, Hazel’s head falling to her shoulder like the most natural motion. Their hands are still locked together as the others continue, their thumbs trading off brushing the other’s knuckles lightly, the newest addition to this post-recoupling routine.

Not that there will be any more recouplings. This is it, the last one with no outs or anymore chances, no take backs or backup plans. It’s just that one decision, that one statement, that one display solidifying everything, solidifying what this is, what this could be.

And it’s absolutely terrifying to Priya, knowing that she can still mess it up, that everything’s for real now, everything’s fragile and delicate and can be messed up so much worse than before, that any mistake is a shot to the heart, not a knife to the back. Everything’s so much more now, for better or for worse, and Priya’s terrified that it will turn out for worse.

Because it always does, no matter what she’s tried. It’s always imploded or terrified her. It’s always been too distant or too suffocating, it’s always been a disaster no matter how much she tried to prevent it. Only now it wouldn’t be equivalent to a house fire, it’d a forest fire that destroys acres and acres. She’d lose her best friend, she’d lose everyone from the Villa, because who would take her side? She’d lose everything she pined for and everything she built between them, everything she thought she couldn’t live without.

And maybe she can’t, maybe she’d die on the spot if she messed this up, maybe she’d implode or just vanish from the Earth if she ruins this, this fragile and delicate but perfect and thrilling thing, whatever it may be. At least for now, Priya’s ready to take the risk, to roll the dice, to chance everything if it means hearing Hazel hum absentmindedly and play with the rings on her fingers.

For now, she’s giving this a try, even if it explodes tomorrow, or in a week, or in a month. For now, she’s letting this be for real, as real as her pounding heartbeat and the blood rushing in her ears. For now, everything’s perfect and glowing like the sunshine smile she’d follow to the ends of the Earth.

For now, Priya’s positively beaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the impromptu break on this one, was working on ficlets and one shots for a while
> 
> And also sorry that there will be another break for a few weeks probably, while I work on the direction to take this. I meant for this chapter to be the finale, but I've got some ideas on how to continue it with plenty of fluff and angst and headcanons that I love but really need to find in order to credit

**Author's Note:**

> You should definitely, totally, one hundred percent check out my tumblr, [kiki-the-creator](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kiki-the-creator), it's for sure worth it, and not a trap


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